


Worth The Wait

by rant_girl



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, First Kiss, First Time, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-04-07 17:33:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4271958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rant_girl/pseuds/rant_girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jensen and Jared first meet it’s love at first sight. Jensen just doesn't know it yet. And there’s the tiny problem of him maybe already having a boyfriend…Maybe. Jared isn't going to let love get in the way of friendship either way. But Fate has plans. Who knew one little letter could change so much?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worth The Wait

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Thank you to the very lovely wonderful and talented **2blueshoes** for your gorgeous _GORGEOUS_ art and for so graciously stepping in to save me, I adore it so, **so** much, still makes me giggle.squee whenever I look at it. You are AMAZING!! And to **tmn1966** my beta, my person, the prompter and cheerleader of this entire thing, which is most certainly dedicated to you. I seriously cannot ever thank you enough for all that you are to me and I wouldn't have even done this challenge without you, but thank you for always being here when I need you, and for listening to all the things. ALL my love all the time for ever BB!! ♥♥
> 
> A/N2: Inspiration, which possessed my soul, taken from an actual Dear Abby letter.

Jared clucked his tongue as he leaned back on his heels and then pushed back forwards. He checked his watchless wrist for what had to be the third time since he got there before remembering again that he wasn't wearing his watch and he pulled out his phone. He'd been waiting for Danneel to come out for a good twenty minutes now. Danneel was on the college paper and the building was pretty far from the dorms, and when she was staying 'til after the sun went down Jared didn't want her walking all on her own across campus. She'd mostly given up on protesting. And it wasn’t that he didn't think she could handle herself, it was more that he didn't want her to ever have to prove it.

He gave it another couple of minutes and then he went inside to find out what the hell was going on. When he got to the room there was a definite panic in the air and when he spotted Danneel she looked frazzled to say the least. When she looked up and caught his eye he saw the _oh shit_ and she came over to him, "Jared I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you wait."

"What's going on?"

"Computer crashed right as we were mid-upload, and it took down the whole system. We're just getting things back up and running. Now of course most people save their stuff on their own flash drives, but there were a bunch of little things without external back-up. So the seniors are totally freaking out."

Jared gave her a sympathetic smile, "You want me to go get a bunch of coffee or something?"

Danneel looked like she was going to kiss him, but the hottest voice Jared had ever heard cut in, "Don't let anyone else hear you say that, or you'll be branded the _snack guy_ for life," and Jared's eyes were immediately drawn to the lips of the owner of that voice, who was now standing right next to Danneel. _That smile_. Which in turn drew his gaze up to the most gorgeously green eyes he'd ever seen.

"Wha-huh?" is what came out of his own mouth and he heard Danneel giggle, but he couldn't take his eyes off the very ruggedly handsome stranger.

"Jared," Danneel said with a shove to his shoulder, "This is Jensen. Jensen this is my best friend, Jared. Though I might have to trade him in for a newer model if he doesn't close his mouth soon."

Jared caught her look that time and he tried his best to snap out of his daze, "What? Hi," looking back at Jensen didn't exactly help, "Right. Sorry. Forgive me. I don't know where my manners have gone. It's nice to meet you, Jensen," he said holding out his hand which Jensen took firmly.

"Nice to meet you too, Jared. Danni speaks highly of you," he said with that smile again, "But honestly, Danni, you should just go home. You've done all you can."

"But-" Danneel started, but Jensen didn't let her get any further than that.

"Really. I'm gonna be heading out soon myself. The senior editors and the computer _gurus_ can manage. Go. Save yourself. We'll still need you tomorrow. You won't get kicked off for escaping. I promise."

By the time Danneel and Jared got down and out onto the quad he was ready to explode with all the thoughts racing round his head, though his main question, "How could you keep this from me?" and he really didn't know how she physically managed to not tell him about Jensen. She never failed to give details about _super cute_ boys. And Jensen was what Jared would categorise as _insanely hot_. So how could she not know what he was talking about?

"Keep what from you?"

"No, no. Not what. Who! I'm talking about the walking, talking drool bucket with the smile that launched ten thousand butterflies!" Jared sighed just thinking about it.

"Well you got me there–"

"What did he mean by you speak highly of me? You've spoken about me? What did you tell him?"

"Whoa," Danneel held up her hands, "Slow down there cowboy, keep going like that you're gonna start hyperventilating," Jared made an effort to take a deep cleansing breath at her _calm the fuck down_ look, putting it on a little and she rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Of course I've told him about you, dummy. You're my best friend, and we do almost everything together. You feature pretty heavily in a lot of my stories. So when someone asks me about me, there's a pretty good chance your name will crop up."

Jared frowned a little, "Well did he seem _interested_?"

Danneel worried her lip, "He wanted to meet you. Sure. But I never got any _because I want to jump his bones_ vibes off of him. And even if he did. Jensen's not like that. He's always so _gentlemanly_ ," she said the last part fondly, a secret smile that she'd obviously shared with the older boy at some point.

"Oh I see how it is. You just want him for yourself," Jared teased with a little hint of a huff.

"Jared, you're being completely ridiculous. See this is why I didn't tell you. I knew you'd go completely gaga over him. And you haven't even really said much more than hello."

"But he's–"

"Gorgeous? Yeah I know. And he's a total sweetheart. But, honey, I really don't think that I'm his type."

Hope flickered.

"I think he might already have a boyfriend."

And was snuffed out just as quick. Jensen having a boyfriend was the most tragic thing Jared had ever heard. Well for himself. It was great for Jensen and whoever the lucky guy was. And well Jared _had_ only just met Jensen, and besides his ridiculous good looks, Jensen seemed like a really cool guy. _And_ it was clear that Danneel liked him. So Jared would very happily be Jensen's friend.

"I do not go _gaga_ ," he pouted and then ruined it with a grin, "I like to think I'm more of a _Katy Perry_ ," and he flipped his hair over his shoulder and then shook his head opening his mouth up wide in a silent roar.

Danneel slugged his arm lightly and she shook her head with a grin of her own, "You are such a dork."

"That's why you love me," he said reeling her in to his side.

"S'xactly why I love you," she said with a nod.

"You won't replace me?" he teased.

"No one could replace you. No one else could eat that much."

"Hey!" Jared laughed, bumping her hip with his own as they continued to walk.

"Hey yourself. Don't pretend you're not proud of that bottomless pit of a stomach of yours."

That was true. And his stomach must have heard them because it grumbled long and low. He hadn't given it anything since two o'clock that afternoon and it was fast approaching six.

"I swear that thing is independently sentient," she said with a playful poke to his abdomen.

"Well if it is, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't appreciate being referred to as _that thing_."

"You said _he_. Tell me you did not just _name_ your stomach."

Jared raised a finger with an air of import, like he was about to announce a royal guest at a ball or something, "Gustov _Guts_ tovovich."

Danneel snorted, "And why is your stomach Ukrainian?"

"It's not. That's not...- it's supposed to be Polish," Jared huffed, "Whatever. It was funny and you know it."

"And no one can take that away from you."

"You suck," Jared pouted, laying it on a little bit and got a gentle smack to his chest for his troubles.

"Now, now, you don't behave you won't get any pizza."

Jared knew she didn't mean it and he gave her a squeeze, resting his head on top of hers for a moment. There was no way she would put up with a _hungry Padalecki_ anyway, "What are our plans for tonight?"

Danneel sighed, "Well I had been hoping that we'd finally get a chance to watch some more _New Girl_ , but it seems Addy got some new game, and so the rest of us shall be forced to watch you two kill each other."

"Not if Gen and Felicia are there, then we will have to put aside our differences and join forces to annihilate them!" Jared said raising his hand before his face and drawing it down into a fist. They had decided early on that there could only be one super gaming genius per team, so Felicia and Adrianne were never allowed to side together. Well at least not in the game zone. But outside of it?

Danneel did not share in their love affair with video games, and she sighed again –though she had been known on occasion to get invested from a spectator point of view– shaking her head this time, "Thwarted by my own soft spot for dorks."

Jensen was sitting at the breakfast bar of the kitchenette in Chris's apartment, pencil in hand. Chris had given him a key for whenever, and Jensen felt kind of weird if he didn't check in with him at least twice a week. Not to mention the fact that Chris was not above giving him a shake if he felt Jensen wasn't socialising enough. He was prone to self-hermitisation if he didn't get the odd gentle –but surly– prod from his best friend.

It wasn't that he didn't like people, he was just happy to be in his own company when time permitted it.

Besides, the other students in his dorm were throwing some kind of hallway party, and he needed quiet to do his work, which normally wasn't that much of an issue. He'd lucked out in his freshman year when his roommate had dropped out early and thanks to whatever glitch gods there were he hadn't been assigned a new one.

He didn't even bother to look up when Chris came in, comfortable in the fact that his best friend would be unphased by his presence. It wasn't until Chris set his stuff down that Jensen glanced over his shoulder and they shared a look with a nod in greeting and then resumed what they had been doing. Chris had his own routine for unwinding when he was essentially home for the day and Jensen knew better than to engage before he was ready.

"So how long you been here?" was what Chris asked when he re-appeared.

Jensen shrugged, "'Bout half an hour before you. I stuck one of the lasagnes my mom sent you in the oven." Jensen's mom liked to make sure they were eating proper meals, and she'd make up a bunch of stuff for them to freeze, she knew where their priorities lay in respects to food prep time.

"Man you need to tell her to stop doing that."

Jensen half laughed with a shake to his head, it's what Chris always said in regards to free mom-food. He appreciated it, but Chris had always been more independent and it bristled his _caveman-hunter_ instincts just a smidge.

"You tell her. You're the one who _had_ to tell her _your_ mom never sends you anything."

Chris huffed, they both knew full well Chris would never say anything and not that it would matter if he did because nothing would stop _Mama Ackles_ , as Chris –and Chad– liked to call her, from feeding her boys.

"It should be ready in about twenty minutes I think," Jensen said before Chris could ask, looking back down at the paper he had on the table.

"What _are_ you doing?" Chris said with a nod to Jensen's _sleeping_ laptop. He hardly ever read hard copies of things anymore, but some things just read better from paper.

"Reading something over for Danni."

Chris furrowed his brow, "The freshman chick from the paper?"

Jensen fixed him with a look and rolled his eyes, "I like her. She's good. Just needs a little encouragement," which she wasn't going to get from the senior editors. They were a little power crazed and a lot tactless. He couldn't wait 'til the next year when they'd be gone. "I met her friend Jared today."

"Yeah?"

Jensen's head tilted to the side as he recalled the encounter, a small smile forming on his lips, "Kind of a doof. But in an endearing sort of way. Can definitely see why they're such good friends." They both gave off the same bubbly energy and Danneel's _go get 'em_ attitude was exactly what the paper needed.

"So you liked him?" Chris asked.

Jensen frowned a little, not sure what the purpose of the question was. Did Chris know something about Jared? "Well sure. Why wouldn't I?"

"That's not–" Chris sighed, “Forget it. So what brings you to this side of town?"

"Well not your warm hospitality," Jensen said without missing a beat.

Chris just fixed him with that look of his, "You got legs. You know where the fridge is. The only reason I have coffee is for you." You wouldn't be able to tell from his demeanour, but Chris liked his herbal teas. It was something he picked up in his martial arts phase. And Jensen knew he was free to take whatever he wanted from Chris’s kitchen. Regardless Chris still had to ask, "You want a beer?"

Jensen's nose crinkled up a bit and he shook his head, "Nah. Maybe later."

Chris gave him an _okay_ shrug and proceeded to get one for himself, "Mid-week party huh?" he said with a knowing smile as he popped the cap off his bottle.

Chris knew him too well, but it was really just an added bonus that paying his best friend a visit coincided with not having to listen to obnoxious music all night long. Jensen cocked his brow, "Almost like they don't want to go to class tomorrow."

Chris rubbed his chin _thoughtfully_ before taking a quick mouthful of his beer. "Well Thursday is almost Friday. Practically the weekend."

"And yet they couldn't wait two days to get absolutely hammered."

Ah sarcasm, where their friendship lived and breathed most easy, but they knew when to switch it off.

"What _are_ they celebrating?" Chris asked as he took a peek into the oven. 

Jensen got up to join him in the kitchen on the other side of the breakfast bar to check the timer he'd set. "I don't know," he'd never stopped long enough to find out, "Somebody found their other shoe? It's all very moving."

"How long?" Chris asked, Jensen knew the smell was too good for his best friend to ignore after he'd let some escape.

"Not long," Jensen said, checking the timer again and grabbing the oven mitts. They were definitely both hungry now.

"Okay we don't tell her to stop, but we should at least tell her to stop making so much! That thing could feed a football team!"

Jensen snorted, "Shouldn't Chad be _gracing_ us with his presence?"

"If he's not out on the prowl."

They shared a short huff of a laugh at that one, Jensen shook his head but mostly fondly, "He's always on the prowl. But he never says no to free food."

Chad was much more comfortable with accepting what was offered to him and he wasn't exactly shy about making requests either, as the still frozen peach cobbler would attest to.

"I'll call him," Chris said as he shoved his hand in his pocket to retrieve his phone just as the timer went off.

Jensen took a sip of his coffee as he walked back to his working station from the printer with a copy of the assignment sheet. They had one pinned to the board, but it had a habit of getting lost behind other things. That and having it readily at hand was so much more convenient. He scanned down the list and he was about half way to his seat when he made a bee line for Danneel.

"Hey, Harris," he said waving the printout between them, though Danneel had her head down, "what's this?"

"What's what?" she said as she looked up, taking the piece of paper from him.

"You agreed to write up the puppy parade?" he said like it was obvious, but Danneel just gave him a _well yeah_ look with a tint of confusion, so he went on, "Why would you do that?"

"Cute puppies?" she shrugged with a smile.

Jensen shook his head, "It's a fluff piece." Not that there was anything wrong with fluff pieces, but, "Very unbefitting of your _Lois Lane_ tenacity." And if you said yes to one the seniors had a habit of offloading a whole lot more onto you, "I thought you wanted action?"

"Well hey," Danneel arched her eyebrow, almost in challenge, "you never know right?"

Jensen went for it.

"What, like one of the puppies is actually a massive diva and can only eat triangular shaped kiblets? And the poor kid of the owner is being forced to separate out any square or circular bits by a mother who loves her dog more than her own kid?"

They shared a smirk, Danneel's clearly said _smart ass_ , but she wasn't backing down, "Well _that_ was specific," and she took a pause, propping her elbows on the desk she clasped her fingers. "One might even say _too_ specific," she reached out to take hold of his arm, "Jensen," she said softly, "you can tell me. Is that _your_ story?"

Jensen sucked in his lips and brought his fist up to his mouth for dramatic effect, "If I closed my eyes real tight I could almost pretend the square ones were a bowl of _Cap'n Crunch_."

And he may have thrown in a sniffle for good measure, which had them both cracking up a little, "Jensen!" she chided, "You are the absolute worst!"

"It's what I aim for."

Danneel shook her head, "You don't really have something against the puppies do you?"

He didn't. Jensen had always wanted to get a dog when he was a kid, but his parents had never let him. And he had been about to tell Danneel that when Jared interrupted, "Puppies? There's puppies? When? Where?"

Just over a week had passed since Jensen had met Danneel's best friend and he was getting to become a regular visitor, showing up a good ten/fifteen minutes before they finished up. And Jensen found that he didn't mind.

"Tomorrow on the quad. Noon," Danneel rattled off, "It's a charity thing for sick kids," and she threw a pointed look his way when she said, "Jensen doesn't think I should go."

Jensen scoffed mock-offended, "That's not what I said. If you want to go look at the puppies, go. You don't need to write about them to see them."

Jared gave him a pout, "Does that mean you don't want to see the puppies?" working his very own puppy eyed look.

He wasn't going to phase Jensen. "What, and miss the collective _aww_ from the female population that just might 'cause a campus wide blackout due to the increase in carbon dioxide?" And Jensen laughed at Danneel's playful _you better watch it mister_ look, complete with pointed finger, "I've got to see Chris, but maybe we might stop by if we have time."

"You can't be serious." "You've got to be kidding me." Jensen and Chris ended up saying at the exact same time after sharing a look of incredulity, though how Chad could still surprise them was beyond either of them.

"Come on, it'll be fun," Chad said as undeterred as ever, "How can you guys not want to go?"

Jensen bit the corner of his lip as he looked up in thought, weighing the choices with his hands as the scales before exchanging another look with Chris.

"Pride." "Self-respect." they said unable to keep the smirks from their faces. They weren't really so against it. Just what Chad might say to ruin it.

"Screw that. Cute puppies. Hot chicks. It's the perfect combo."

Chris pushed his hand back through his hair and shook his head with a sigh, "I'm already regretting the why."

Jensen sighed too, "And math takes another hit."

Chad rolled his eyes, "It's simple. Puppies make them think of babies and babies make them think of finding a mate. _Mated_."

"And there it is," Jensen said, head tilted to the side, "almost _poetic_."

Chris shuddered, "'You imagine a bunch of Chad babies running around?"

"Maybe we should get him fixed," Jensen teased, and the look on Chad's face would have been priceless but all three of them flinched a little to the proximity of that suggestion to their own junk.

Chad broke the silence.

"Let's just get going before all the good spots are taken."

Danneel still wasn't too sure how they'd manage to wrangle it but she, Jared and Genevieve just had the one nine a.m. class on a Friday; with a bi-weekly tutorial in the afternoon, which they'd just gone to the Friday before. The rest of their friends hadn't been so lucky. So that's how the two of them ended up going with her. She'd wanted to get there early. They must have arrived just shortly after the girls who were organising the whole thing. There were girls putting up ribbons and balloons and setting up tables.

The puppies were being let out of their carriers and put into a pen where they could frolic. Jared diverted Genevieve directly towards the little fluffballs of joy, leaving Danneel to approach the girl with the pink clipboard, who was immediately flanked by two other girls upon spotting Danneel.

"Can we help you?" the one with the clipboard asked and Danneel was instantly reminded why she'd hung up her pom poms for good. During orientation these were the same girls who'd approached her about rushing for their house. They hadn't appeared too happy when she'd declined their invitation. 

But she wasn't going to bite, "Hi. I'm Danneel and I'm with the school paper and I wanted to have a word about the good work you're doing here today. And maybe we could talk a little about what you've got planned next."

There was always a next thing. And well it _was_ for charity. So there was no reason for hostility, no matter how tempting they made it.

"Are they together?"

"What?" Danneel blinked, that she hadn't been expecting. _They who_? But she turned to look in the direction of their gaze and saw her friends, puppies in their arms, then looked back at the sorority girls, eyebrows raised, "Jared and Gen? No. They're not together," but they did make quite the picture with their googily _I want all the puppies_ eyes. She shook her head to get back on point, "So can I get an interview with one of you ladies?"

But seemingly they didn't hear anything she'd just said.

"And he's not your boyfriend?"

"No," she said again, trying real hard to keep her exasperation to herself, "He's my best friend."

All the while the three girls never took their eyes off Jared, "You can get your interview after the parade. If you bring him with you." 

"He is gay you know," she said purely for clarification reasons because that was something she did not want Jared to have to deal with and she wasn't under any circumstances going to _pimp_ Jared out for any reasons, personal or political.

Now either they didn't believe her or they took it as a challenge because the one on the left said, "Well he's still really cute."

Danneel's brow scrunched, _alternatively_ , maybe they just wanted to ogle him with their eyes some more. Which was a bit more understandable and there was nothing wrong with enjoying some eye candy action: as long as they didn't expect anything more. She sighed, "Well sure, I guess I could persuade him to stick around." Not that he would leave without her.

And the sorority girls seemed happy enough at that though none of them said another word.

Danneel shook her head with a shrug before heading back over to her friends, Cindy and Adrianne had showed up when she'd had her back turned, "Did you get your interview?" Jared asked automatically with only a quick glance away from the puppies.

Danneel bumped their arms together as she stood next to him, "Not yet. After. They want _your cuteness_ to be present."

Jared just grinned, he very much took being a _babe magnet_ in his stride, "So they were checking out my ass huh? It was starting to feel underappreciated. I mean you don't write, you don't grope," he teased and Danneel smacked his chest lightly, Genevieve rolled her eyes and Cindy and Adrianne snorted.

"Poor unsqueezed boy butt," Adrianne said putting her hands over her heart.

"Like unrubbed puppy bellies," Cindy said as she reached down to scratch the head of the sweetest little golden retriever, "Couldn't you just die?" 

And she was right the puppies were unbearably squishable, "Can I trust that you lot aren't organising some sort of _Grand Theft Puppy_?"

"Oh come on we could totally get away with it," Adrianne said letting her head tip back before bringing it back down, "Jared takes his shirt off and flexes his man muscles and we walk away clean."

" _Right_. It's fool proof," Danneel said as if she was actually going along with it, "You know, except for the part where there'd be a puppy-less puppy parade. And these little guys are all collared. They belong to people."

"Reckless people," Genevieve interjected, bringing the puppy she was holding up closer to her face, "Entrusting their precious little babies to a bunch of strangers!" she scoffed and then her voice softened as she addressed the puppy, "I would never let you out of my sight."

"Clearly," Danneel laughed, Genevieve had a weakness for puppies, well okay all of her friends did, herself included, but Genevieve? She did not get smooshy about things. And human children kind of scared her a little. But put a puppy in front of her? 

"Okay time to put the puppies down. And let’s go claim a spot before anyone else shows up," Danneel said wanting to be out of the way before the sorority girls came over to get the puppies ready. Besides it hardly seemed logical to throw away their right to first dibs on any of the prime locations.

Jared had to pry the puppy Genevieve had been cradling out of her arms. Adrianne sandwiched herself in between them to steer Genevieve in the other direction, slinging her arm across the shorter girl's shoulders. And Genevieve hardly even ruffled at the personal bubble violation. She'd gotten better about that –the walls could come back up when hackles were raised or with new people– but she'd always been somewhat closer to Adrianne. Though the four of them –Danneel, Jared, Genevieve and Adrianne– had all been the best of friends since elementary school. So they knew each other pretty well.

It wasn't long before other people started showing up, and they were joined by Felicia and Amy who Jared stole some cuddles from automatically. She was the youngest and so _baby_ of the group, and had put up no resistance to Jared's gravitational pull. He was protective of all of his girls. That was definitely one of the things Danneel loved so much about him. But it didn't escape her that her best friend still had other _things_ on his mind, she caught him scanning faces every time a tall boy passed by.

Danneel tugged on Jared's arm to pull him down a little to say, "Looking for someone?" which jolted him out of his whatever it was. _Love haze_ perhaps.

"What?" he asked confused, seemingly hearing and not hearing what she said at the same time, eyebrows drawn together, before it sunk in.

"A tall someone maybe," Danneel said with a smirk, "with the greenest of green eyes, the most adorable of adorable freckles and the cutest slash hottest bowlegs you've ever seen?" Jared looked ready to give his standard denial followed by sheepish acceptance but Adrianne butted in.

"Wait. Are we finally going to meet _the_ Jensen? Is he here?" she asked craning her neck to get a better look at the crowd.

"He said he _might_ show," Danneel said giving Jared a sympathetic half hug.

"With his _boyfriend_ ," Jared said almost forlornly.

"Can we really be sure Chris is his boyfriend?" Amy asked, trying for hopeful –though Danneel could still hear the tiny niggle of doubt– and getting a kiss to the forehead for it from Jared.

"Well I still want to meet him," Adrianne piped up and the others made their agreement known.

Genevieve quirked her brow with a grin, "Oh, I definitely want to meet the guy that's got our guy all junior high over him."

Jared huffed, "I am not all junior high–"

Genevieve cut him off, "I've seen the doodle hearts, Padalecki. They don't lie."

"Doodle hearts? There's doodle hearts?" Danneel could hardly contain the urge to squish him all up, "This I have to see." 

She'd never seen Jared so _smitten_ before. Don't get her wrong if he was dating someone he was always excited to see them and to spend time with them. But things tended to fizzle pretty quickly, particularly if there weren't any signs of mutual sparkage. Normally Jared would have moved on already.

When she looked up and across the way her heart sank a little for Jared. It was Jensen with two other boys. One who she knew to be Chris, who she'd met briefly that one time when he came in to the paper to drag Jensen away. And the other she suspected to be the somewhat infamous Chad, who Jensen had mentioned here and there.

Chad, if it was in fact him, didn't stick close to them for long.

But Jensen and Chris were pretty much shoulder to shoulder, well if you ignored the height difference. She had just flicked her gaze to see if Jared had spotted them yet when she caught the movement, Jensen leaning in to say something for only Chris to hear. The two of them smiling and laughing. Jared looked kind of crushed, she was going to suggest that they leave but then the parade was starting and Jensen looked right at them when he lifted his head and he gave them a wave. Danneel and Jared both waved back, mirroring Jensen's smile.

"You want to go over there?" she asked quietly.

Jared sucked in a breath and then let it all back out on a sigh with a shrug, "Nah."

"Puppies then ice-cream?" she asked already knowing the answer.

"You read my mind," Jared smiled.

Jensen sighed, scrubbing his hand back through his hair and then forwards when Chad grabbed the book he was reading from his hands. "Chad, come on, man, really?" and he levelled him with a look, "Do we have to go out? Can't we just hang out here?"

Chad looked offended by the suggestion, "On a Friday night? Dude, you gotta live a little. You're cooped up in here almost every night of the week. Would it kill you to have fun?"

This was not a new argument. Jensen knew the lines pretty well. And their futility, but on the off-chance that Chad might actually listen to reason, "I have fun. I just don't see why we have to go out to get it. Remember when we used to just talk? Play video games? Chill?"

Chad just fixed him with a look, clearly unimpressed, "And what? Braid each other's hair?"

"Well you know Chris is actually the only one with hair long enough for that so…" Yeah okay so he was being a smartass. It's what he did.

Chad being Chad chose to ignore it, "Yeah well Chris is out on a date tonight, you know like you should have been if you'd had the balls to ask out that Danielle chick."

Jensen blinked, "It's Danneel. And it's not like that. She's a friend."

"All the more reason for us to go out tonight," and Chad seemingly sensed he wasn’t getting anywhere in that particular vein, and he adjusted his tactics accordingly. If at first you don't succeed: try begging. "Come on, Ackles. Help me out here. I need my wing man."

Jensen sighed, with a huff of a laugh, he never could say no when Chad used _that_ face, so ridiculous. "Okay. I'll go. But no plays. Or manoeuvres. You don't need that stuff."

Chad just snorted, too busy celebrating his mini-victory. It had been a long shot Jensen knew, but he just wished his friend would believe it.

They were standing at one of those weird tall tables in one of Chad's favourite student friendly bars. It hadn't taken long for Chad to find a girl he was interested in. It never did. Her name was Katie. And she was cute. Blonde. Chad's type. And Jensen was dutifully going along with whatever stories Chad decided to tell, or re-tell. Chad was actually pretty good at that part. The _heroic_ tale of masculine triumph. And Jensen wasn't actually having too bad a time, until Chad went to get them some more beer.

"Thank god!" Katie said with a very put upon sigh. "Let's get out of here before he gets back."

Her tone gave him a dull ache in his stomach. "What?"

"You and me," she said with a flick of her hair, taking hold of his forearm, "We could go somewhere _quiet_."

Jensen's eyes widened at that and he cleared his throat, brow furrowed, and he took his arm back, "And why would I want to do that?"

"Oh come on, you can't really be friends with _that_ guy, can you?"

"Well I am," he said firmly and he turned and walked away without another word and of course bumped right into Chad.

"What gives?"

Jensen took a breath and shook his head. Chad deserved better than that, "Forget it man. She didn't even like _Jurassic Park_."

"Dude!" Chad said with a familiar complete and utter disbelief and he took a drink of one of the beers he was holding. "And she seemed so normal."

"Can't trust a girl who doesn't like dinosaurs," Jensen said, relieved that Chad went for it. No matter how disappointed he was.

"You said it. I mean, _really_?" Chad asked trying to get a look at her over Jensen's shoulder, but Jensen had a sneaking suspicion that she was already gone.

"Come on, I'm sure there's cooler _chicks_ ," to use Chad's word, "around here," Jensen tried, wanting to get a smile –or lascivious grin– back on Chad's face. Whatever Chad was thinking, Jensen couldn't quite read him, and he stayed quiet for a beat longer.

"You want to play some pool?" he finally asked.

"Sure," Jensen said, grabbing the beer from Chad he headed for the back room, "You're so going down, Murray."

"In your dreams, Ackles!"

Jared was sitting on the floor, back against Cindy's bed with Amy pressed up against his side and Cindy and Adrianne were lying up on the bed behind them playing with Jared's hair. _Braiding it_. Whatever. Adrianne had got into the habit of doing it to de-stress back when they were in high school. And now she'd recruited Cindy into the process. 

Jared didn't mind exactly, as long as products weren't involved. He had to draw the line somewhere and his was at any goops, goos or sprays that may or may not add colour and/or _sparkle_. Genevieve was on the floor too, opposite him, leaning back against Danneel's bed as she flipped through the magazine that Danneel had dropped into her lap moments before in favour of doing some sort of fancier braid/pleat thing in Felicia's hair round the side of her head. 

They were having a sleepover, something they liked to do somewhat semi-regularly. And even when they weren't, Jared usually ended up crashing with at least one or two of the girls most nights. His own roommate kind of sucked. A lot. For whatever reasons, real or imagined, the guy just refused to show Jared any sort of camaraderie. Just blankness. It made things _tense_. And Jared just couldn't bear it. So he liked to not be in that room as much as was possible. 

It was all about logistics. 

He was really lucky to have so many awesome friends. Though normally getting along with people wasn't an issue. 

Sucky roommate withstanding.

But with Jensen there was just something more. He couldn't even really explain it. It was like something had just clicked into place. And whatever had shifted? It felt permanent. He knew he was probably just being stupid and maybe more than a tad melodramatic. But was it really that crazy to feel so connected to someone after such a short period of time?

He'd almost been able to push it all out of his mind earlier that afternoon with the puppies providing the best kind of distraction. But after the parade, when the crowd had started to disperse, Jensen had made his way, solo, over to them. Mostly to say hey, and Jared and Danneel had introduced Jensen to their friends. To their credit they hadn't embarrassed him. And Jensen, of course, had reminded Jared why he liked him so much. When Danneel had stepped away to go get her story, Jensen didn't get all weird and close up, he kept up with the conversation easily and even managed to make the girls laugh once or twice.

And apparently Jared wasn't the only one with Jensen on the brain.

"Are we sure he's gay?" Adrianne asked all of a sudden, or it felt that way to Jared, he'd been so lost in his thoughts he hadn't even noticed that they'd started to undo the braids they'd put in his hair. "Because I could go me a slice of that boy." 

"Addy!" Cindy chided her, though she still couldn't help but chuckle a little.

Jared's brow raised with a bemused sort of look as he caught Danneel's eye, and she took a breath before saying, "Well no. But we know you are," she shook her head, "Felicia don't you have anything to say?"

Felicia just shrugged but then more thoughtfully said, "Well he is smoking hot. I'd do him. You know, if he had boobs."

Jared's nose scrunched, "Well if there was ever a mood killer."

"Hey don't knock boobs until you've tried them," Felicia countered.

"My girl does love the _ladies_ ," Adrianne said fondly.

"Yes. Ladies. Boobs. All good things. Just don't go pinning them on my–...I mean Jensen." The girls all giggled and aww'd at him, and he huffed with a pout, "I hate you," which only made them giggle that much more, but Jared heard the _oh poor baby_ undertone. Amy, Adrianne and Cindy all threw their arms around him since they were closest. A full group hug was inevitable and the other three girls crossed the room to join in. Jared wasn't going to complain about that.

Jared couldn't sleep. The second they'd put out the lights and he'd closed his eyes, he'd felt wide awake. He'd tried everything he could think of in his head to try and lull himself back into the sleepy zone that didn't require getting up out of bed, except from touching himself. But nothing. And he really wasn't at all comfortable with the thought of jerking off in a room full of his friends. Never mind the fact that he was lying right next to Danneel. His choices were limited. He could either get up or...

"Danni," he said in a hushed tone as he rolled onto his side, "are you awake?" He knew she wasn't, but he needed her to be. He watched the steady rise and fall of her chest for a few moments but she hadn't heard him.

"Danni," he tried again and this time he placed his hand on her shoulder to give her a little shake.

She jumped, "Jared?" and she sounded confused, upset, panicked, though he knew part of that was due to the sleep fog she was still in. "What's going on?"

And he felt guilty for putting that sound in her voice, "Hey, shh," he soothed, brushing her temple with his thumb as he kissed the top of her head. "Sorry. It's okay. You can go back to sleep. It's nothing."

"Nothing?" she repeated, "You wake me up in the middle of the night and almost give me a heart attack? Oh it had better be something. Spill it, Padalecki."

"Forget it. Just go back to sleep."

"Jared."

Jared was smart enough to recognise when Danneel was using her _tell me or I'll hurt you_ tone. He'd come clean. But he sighed. It didn't seem so important now and he felt kind of stupid. You know, on top of being certain that he was crazy. He looked back up into her eyes, there was enough light coming in through the window for it and he touched his head to hers for a moment. He wasn't even really sure where he was going to begin 'til he started speaking, "If he was single and not straight then he'd be interested right?"

"Jared–" she started but he didn't let her get further than that.

"When we got ice-cream this afternoon, the guy on the counter was flirting with me."

"He was cute," is what Danneel said, measured but true.

"I didn't even realise it 'til I saw his number on the receipt."

"Maybe he was being subtle."

"No," Jared gave the barest shake of his head, "I've gone over it in my head a thousand times. He was obvious. But I guess it didn't register or maybe I just didn't care...because he's not Jensen. I can't stop thinking about him Danni. And I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do."

Danneel cupped his cheek, wavering smile on her lips, "I would. But I don't think you'll like it."

No, he didn't think he would.

 _Stop seeing Jensen_.

That's what she meant.

Could he really do that?

Danneel's fingers flew rapidly over her keyboard. She'd already finished her next piece and was using her time to make a start on her new assignment for class. But she kept backspacing. She should probably do more reading. That thought made her snort and she reached for her water and when she glanced up to look at the time Jensen was right there. Which wasn't unusual in itself, Jensen was a frequent and friendly hover-er of her desk space, but right now he seemed distracted. His eyes flicked between his watch, the clock and the door.

It was _Jared time_. The time when he normally showed up. This was the fourth day in a row he hadn't. And it wasn't the first time she'd caught Jensen checking the time so constantly. She cleared her throat a little, "Uh, Jensen?"

Jensen started a little when the scrunched up post-it note she threw at him hit his shoulder, "Huh-wha-...sorry," his attention successfully drawn to her. "Didn't mean to be unannounced."

"Perish the thought," Danneel said and they shared a grin.

And then Jensen asked the question she'd managed to avoid thus far. Monday and Tuesday had been easy enough, Jensen had been busy with his own work and so she had been able to slink off with a smile and a wave. Wednesday she'd seen the frown on his face as he checked the time on his phone. But he hadn't asked then.

"So where's Jared?"

Should have known they wouldn't make it to Friday.

"Haven't seen him the past couple of days."

Danneel hesitated. She didn't know what to say. She didn't exactly want to lie to him, but she didn't want to betray Jared either. But she needed to say something.

Concern etched Jensen's brow as he asked, "He's okay isn't he?"

"What? No. Yeah. Jared's fine. He's fine. He uh, he just hasn't been able to get away as early." That was technically true. But of course the reason he hadn't was because he couldn't. But not seeing Jensen? Jared was a wreck and Danneel wasn't too sure how much it was actually helping.

"Oh," is what Jensen said and he glanced back down at his watch, "You want me to walk you down? I could wait with you 'til he shows."

Danneel smiled a little, they were both going to kill her, it was really very sweet of him to offer, but she had to respect Jared's decision, "Jensen you don't have to do that. Thank you. But I'll be alright."

"You sure?"

"Promise" she nodded, "See you tomorrow?"

"Course."

Jensen had had a restless night. He hadn't been able to get to sleep. He couldn't really put his finger on the why, but something felt off. Or missing. And the feeling had followed him right through sub-consciousness and into the morning. He didn't have any classes on a Friday but normally he liked to get in some study time at the library; less people milling about. Before he'd even gotten up and out of bed he'd decided that coffee was the answer. True, and not too surprisingly, Jensen found that coffee was the answer to a lot of early morning quandaries, but today it really was.

Just as he neared the campus cafe that's when he saw him walk out the door, "Jared," and he couldn't help but smile. It was good to see him.

"Jensen," Jared said as he came to a halt. "Hey. What are you doing here?"

Jensen quirked a brow as he glanced up at the sign over the door and then down at the coffee cup in Jared's hands and Jared shook his head semi-sheepishly, "Right."

It was then that Jensen noticed that Jared was a little more rumpled than perhaps he should have been and a lot more down. True Jensen had never actually seen Jared in the morning before, but Jared’s energy had always seemed boundless. "Jared, are you okay?"

"Yeah. Sure," Jared said with a half flash of a smile, his bangs covered his eyes with a down-turn of his head. Avoiding eye contact. That was definitely un-Jared like behaviour.

Jensen wasn't normally the kind to pry but, "Jared?"

"It's nothing."

Jensen frowned. He wasn't really sure what to say, but when Jared looked back up their eyes met and Jared sighed with a shake of his head, "Unrequited love, man."

 _Oh_. "Yeah?" Not what Jensen had expected, he didn't know what he'd expected, but it made sense. The Jared being upset part at least. If there was someone who Jared was in love with, then he didn't see how they wouldn't love him back.

Jared rubbed the back of his neck, "Guy I like is kinda already taken."

"Only kinda?"

"Well he might not be," Jared shrugged, "But doesn't matter either way. Don't think he feels the same."

"Sorry to hear that," and it was Jensen's turn to give Jared a half smile, this wasn't exactly Jensen's area of expertise, but he wasn't stupid either, "That sucks."

"Yeah," Jared said quiet but firm, unmistakeably disappointed, "Guess I've been kinda bummed about it. The girls keep trying to comfort me. Which don't get me wrong. I'm grateful and I love them–"

"Kinda making you feel crummier?" Jensen supplied and Jared bowed his head with a heavy sigh, what could he do right? But maybe there was something Jensen could do, "You know what you need?" and Jared's head snapped up, "You need a guys night."

"A guys night?" Jared said in a _colour me intrigued_ kind of way, with maybe just a smidge of skepticism.

But Jensen was undeterred, "Yeah. Me, Chris, Chad. We're going out for drinks tonight. You should come with."

Jared blinked, "They won't mind?"

"The more the merrier. The rest of the guys from Chris’s band sometimes like to make an appearance. But I think we'll just be four tonight. You know. If you join us."

Jared bit the corner of his lip, hopefully in consideration and not an outright no. Jensen dropped his head a little to catch Jared's eye, "It'll be fun."

Jared smiled at that shaking his head almost imperceptibly, "Okay. I'm in."

Jared took another t-shirt from his closet and held it up for inspection before tossing it on top of the small mound forming on his bed.

"Yes!" he said with a fist pump as Danneel's ringtone alerted him of her call. He'd sent her a text to do so like five minutes ago, even though he knew she might be busy but, "Danni, you wouldn't happen to know if I left my blue shirt over there would you?"

"Hello to you too," Danneel said unamused.

"Hey. Sorry," Jared said as he eyed up another shirt before sliding it along to the other side of the rail, "Thanks for calling."

"Blue shirt?" and he could practically feel the quirk to her brow.

"Have you seen it?"

So he should have sensed the sarcasm he was about to receive.

"And this is some sort of a life or death situation is it? Because _Danni, call me ASAP. It's urgent!_ kind of made me think there was something, you know, _serious_."

But Jared hadn't been pulling any punches, not as far as he was concerned, "It is serious. I _need_ my shirt."

He heard Danneel sigh on the other end of the line, but he also heard her concede to his current crazy, "Jared you do know that you own more than one blue shirt right? I'm gonna need a little more to go on."

"The one with the silhouette of the bear on it."

She exhaled, "Haven't seen it. But lemme check."

"Thanks," Jared smiled as he leaned back against the wall.

"So why is it so important that we find this shirt?"

Jared shrugged even though she couldn't actually see him, trying to keep it casual, "I want to wear it tonight."

"Since when did you need to wear a specific shirt for movie night?"

Jared's teeth sunk down into his lip as he scratched the back of his neck, "Funny thing about that–"

"Who are you going out with?"

"Jensen kinda asked me–"

"Jensen asked you out?!" and Jared heard the _Dude, come on. Shut up!_ and he rubbed his chest in sympathy of where she would have smacked him had he been within her reach at that particular moment.

"What? No. Not exactly," he pushed himself away from the wall and dropped down to sit on his bed next to the shirt pile.

"Are you going out with him?"

"Well yeah. But it's not like that. He invited me out for drinks–"

"And that's not a date?"

"Drinks with the guys. As friends. That's it."

Danneel didn't say anything. She hadn't said anything about it, period. He knew she was struggling with the pros and cons of the whole deal with Jensen too. And he knew it was unfair that she still had to deal with him every day...but she hadn't complained about it.

Jared sighed, "I never thought getting over him would be so hard."

Danneel huffed, "And you figure going out with him is the best way to do that?"

"I tried cutting him out, Danni. I can't do it. If I can't be with him, then I can at least be his friend. Talking to him this morning made me feel happier than I have in a week."

They both fell silent for a moment, and Jared closed his hand on the shirt at the top of the pile and threw it to the side as he went through them again, futile as it may be, until _AHA_! giving himself a mental fist bump. "Found it," he said more quietly to Danneel.

"Be careful, Jare," and Jared didn't need to ask to get her meaning.

He smiled, "I will."

Jared tugged at the bottom of his shirt as he walked along the sidewalk. All that fuss and in the end he’d ended up going with a button down. He supposed what it really came down to was wanting to tell Danneel. Of course he would have had to have told her anyway to let her know he was ditching. But that wasn’t the point. This, whatever it was, was pretty huge. Or it was for Jared. And it was stupid, as he had already told Danneel, this wasn’t a date. But he still wanted to look good. Presentable. But not like he was trying too hard.

 _Let me repeat. Not a date_. Jared reminded himself.

Fun fact: Jensen and Jared’s dormitories were actually in adjacent buildings. But Jensen and his friends were leaving from Chris’s place, which Jared had been invited to do too, but he had his stupid afternoon tutorial and so Jared had decided it’d just be easier if he met them at the bar. And Jared had been relieved about that at first. He’d worried about the two of them having to walk together though for the life of him he couldn’t remember why. If anything, Jensen would have been the perfect distraction from the internal freak out.

He’d meant what he said about removing Jensen from the equation not being better at all. But he was maybe very marginally worried about whether he could handle Jensen and Chris being _boyfriendly_. Not that he got the impression that either of them were smushy about each other. Or in general. 

Just…

Yeah. 

Freak out.

And Jared half-heartedly told himself that if he got there and they were nowhere to be seen then he could just turn around and retreat to the girls. But when he got there they were right there waiting and Jensen waved him over. 

Chris gave him a smile with a nod of acknowledgement in greeting, and then he was officially introduced to Chad who clapped him on the shoulder rather heartily. All in all he actually seemed like a pretty decent guy, though Jared was under the distinct impression that he wasn’t aware that Jared was gay, judging by a couple of things he said. But not in a douchey way. Chris was just cool. There was no arguing with that. And Jensen was well Jensen. And Jared wouldn’t argue with that either. 

The conversation flowed easily between the four of them and maybe in almost direct proportion to how much alcohol they imbibed. Jared really couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed so hard. But the beer also seemed to have an effect on just how close Jensen was sitting next to Chris. It was subtle really. Not like either of them slung an arm across the other or anything but Jensen was definitely leaning into the other boy and Chris didn’t push him away or tell him to get off. 

So when Chad and Jensen got up to go get the next round, Jared leaned forward. He had to know. _Straight up_. And he scrubbed his hand down his face to stop himself from laughing, stupid grin tugging at his lips, but he shook his head before looking Chris in the eye. “So, are you Jensen’s boyfriend?”

Chris didn’t bat so much as an eyelid, didn’t break eye contact just took one of the few remaining sips of his beer and then set it down, “And what if I was?”

Jared did blink, his brow scrunched, “So you’re not Jensen’s boyfriend?”

Chris just fixed him with a _just answer the goddamn question_ kind of look and Jared sucked in a breath and held it for a moment. "Well I'd be happy for you guys,” Jared said with a hint of a shrug as he pushed his hand back through his hair, “Although, I mean, that would kind of suck for me for a while since I'm kind of in love with him."

 _Whoa_. He hadn’t meant to let the _L word_ just slip out into the open like that. It probably sounded crazy. It probably was kind of crazy. But it was what he felt. And he didn’t need to be drunk to know that was true. 

Chris didn’t seem too impressed and his gaze still met Jared with rather a fair amount of skepticism. "I'm not his boyfriend. But I am his best friend and I don't know what you expect from him–" 

Jared threw up his hands open palmed, "Hey, look man, I don't expect anything. I really like Jensen and if all he wants is to be friends,” no matter how much it sucked right then, and he said more quietly, resigned but no less sincere, “then I can live with that." 

Chris held his gaze as he searched Jared’s eyes and then bit his lip as he looked down and he knocked his knuckles together. Jared guessed to mull it all over and was quite surprised when their eyes met once more, he wouldn’t exactly call the look softer, less stern was probably more fitting, "Well it's really not my place to say anything. That's up to Jensen. But if you hurt him I will kill you." 

And Jared believed he really could. He huffed a little, he really shouldn’t have expected anything else from Chris with what he’d already learned about him. "Sounds fair." 

Of course it was right then that Jensen came back and Jared’s heart thundered in his chest at his, "What sounds fair?"

 _Fuck_. 

But Chris surprised him again with a swift shrug and, “Was just challenging the kid–“

And Jared scoffed a little, “Wait. Who are you calling kid?”

“Well I don’t know. But if the next words out of your mouth were going to be _I’m taller than you_ ” the last part said in a mocking tone.

Jared just grinned, eyebrow cocked, “But I _am_ taller than you.”

Chris shook his head, “Punk-ass kid.”

“Grumpy old man,” and he seriously had to refrain from sticking his tongue out at him. 

But it made Chris snort all the same. “Yeah we’ll see what you have to say once I kick your ass at darts. Loser buys the next two rounds.”

“What!?” Jensen said with an air of incredulity and then shook his head. “Dude, no way. You’re like _scary_ good at that shit. Let’s just play pool. Two on two. I’ll take Jared, and you can go pry Chad off the bartender.”

_I’ll take Jared_

Yeah Jared’s heart very _kindly_ reminded him of its presence at that. Jensen wanted him…on his team. To play pool. Jensen was single and possibly into guys? Chris hadn't exactly made that part clear. But why else would he give him the best friend disclaimer right? He supposed a better question was whether he could play an entire game of pool without checking out Jensen's ass the entire time. Well, he was about to find out.

As it turned out the answer was mostly no. But he had made a conscious effort to look at other things, like the table, the ground, the wall, his beer bottle, Chad and Chris, Jensen’s face, when they spoke. But when it was Jensen’s turn to play? _Ye-ah_. And when he and Jensen had won, Jared all of a sudden had his arms full of a warm, pliant Jensen who gave him a full-bodied victory hug, which lasted a little longer than a standard guy hug. He was pretty sure he had been in need of a cold shower after that. Not that the others seemed to notice. And he had a feeling Chad would be the kind to say if he had. 

Jared had figured he’d probably be able to get himself back under control. And mostly he did, though there were still residual _stirrings_. Jensen didn’t exactly make things easier, he had pretty much remained by Jared’s side the whole rest of the time they were there and he kept leaning into him. And fuck if it didn’t make Jared want things. But Jensen was drunk. A friendly tactile drunk and Jared couldn’t really complain. Jensen’s warm smiling face just made him feel happy right down to his soul.

They stayed for the winning rounds bought by Chad and Chris and then they headed out. For a very brief half-notion Jared had contemplated, and apparently out loud, walking back to the dorms. But the older boys would hear nothing of it. They were going back to Chris’s place for a drink. No bailing allowed. They picked up some pizza on their way and they stuck on a movie at Chad’s insistence that they play a drinking game. Jared really didn’t know how they were supposed to keep track of all the rules, he could barely concentrate on them as they flew out of Chad’s mouth in rapid succession. But he was sure Chad wouldn’t let him miss a shot.

Chad had also claimed the comfy chair all for himself which left the rest of them to the couch. Jensen sat in the middle but with a definite leaning towards Jared’s side. He kind of fell over into Chris while trying to dodge Jared’s elbow when Jared very suddenly needed to get his phone out of his pocket, “I need to text Danni,” and he did. He hadn’t texted her the whole night and he definitely wasn’t going to see her until the following day. 

Chad laughed, “She your girlfriend?” 

Jared blinked, his brow drawn together as his brain processed that question. “Not my _girlfriend_ girlfriend.” She was Danneel. And he supposed in some ways he considered her to be _his_. She was practically his sister. But _way_ cooler. 

“You’re so whipped,” Chad said with a deep amusement. Chris and Jensen snorted but neither of them said anything and Jared just shook his head and tapped out his message before he forgot. 

Something he did lose track of was how many shots they had downed. And he was starting to not be able to keep his eyes open for any great length of time. And he was pretty sure they weren’t even watching the same movie anymore. The next time he opened his eyes it was to Jensen’s face, which was like _right_ there. Inches from his own. Jensen must have been watching him. He had this smile. Made Jared smile too. And Jared stared back, his gaze torn between resting on Jensen’s eyes or his lips. _God those lips_. He really wanted to kiss them. 

He could have, or at least he thought he could have, he had felt the tug that reeled him in just a fraction of an inch at a time. But then Jensen had said something that jolted his heart into overdrive.

“We should go to bed.”

“What?” Jared all but spluttered, and then Jensen made the cutest yawn and Jared felt like the biggest idiot ever. _Sleep. Duh._ The thing he had almost been doing like who even knows how many seconds ago. Jared blinked, looking up at Chris as a blanket and pillow were dropped into his lap. It was then he noticed that Chad was already conked out. 

“You can take the couch,” Chris said with a look, that Jared wasn’t sure how to interpret. Jared’s eyes flicked back to Jensen, who reached out to Chris to help pull him up off the couch and they disappeared off into Chris’s room, he guessed. But just to sleep. ‘Cause they were best friends. Like Jared and Danneel were best friends. Though he supposed there wouldn’t be any snuggling. Platonic guy friends don’t snuggle. 

_Jensen is single_.

And maybe into guys.

Jared sorted out his pillow and laid down, one hand on his belly the other above his head with a yawn of his own. He was probably kinda screwed. 

Chris was the first to wake up. He always liked to make sure that he didn’t drink quite as much as everyone else, just in case. He liked to keep some semblance of wit about him. Keep an eye on things. He liked to know what was going on round about him and his friends. He glanced back over his shoulder to get a look at Jensen, he’d faced planted onto the bed last night, and he was still in the same position. Chris let out a heavy breath and sat up, feet on the floor and he snorted. 

Jared had thought they were boyfriends. 

Granted he wasn’t the first to have that thought. On occasion Chris was given to let that assumption work to his advantage in keeping any unwanted attentions out of Jensen’s way. It wasn’t something his best friend was ready for and he didn’t want some asshole who couldn’t keep it in his pants forcing him into doing something he didn’t want. And as far as Chris knew, he didn’t. They’d only ever talked about it the once. Two years ago. But Chris still remembered it very vividly.

_"Chris,” Jensen had started quiet, eyes cast down, hands curved round the edge of his desk which he was leaning against, “There's something I have to tell you. But I don't want you to freak or get mad."_

_Chris’s brow furrowed as he registered the note of anxiety in Jensen’s voice and he sat up a little straighter. "What is it?"_

_Though Jensen did manage to look him in the eye when he said, "You're the only person I can trust with this. No one else can know."_

_Chris still didn’t like it, "Jensen–" and he hoped he’d never given Jensen the impression that there was anything he couldn’t share._

_But obviously Jensen still wanted to, "Swear."_

_He just wanted a little reassurance, and that Chris could give, "I swear. Just tell me."_

_Jensen nodded and took in a sharp breath, "I think I might be gay."_

_"Okay." Not what he’d expected sure but…_

_"Okay?" Jensen asked, eyebrow arched, a mixture of relief and trepidation on his face._

_Chris didn’t break eye contact, giving Jensen a raised eyebrow of his own, "What do you want me to say? If you are? You are. That doesn't change anything. Not to me. Won't make you any less you." He didn’t have to even think about it, and it was important that Jensen knew he had his support no matter what. "You don't want to tell anyone, I won't make you. You want to talk? Then I'm here. Okay?"_

_"Okay," Jensen said with a nod, and a half-twitch of a smile, and a look._

_Chris wasn’t sure if he was searching for the right way to say something more or if he was just processing, so he prodded, "Do you want to talk about it? Is there a guy?"_

_"What? No. No. I just...I've been thinking since..." Chris followed Jensen’s gaze as his eyes flitted to his pinboard and to the picture of Jensen and his girlfriend. His ex._

_"Did Sarah say something to you?"_

_Jensen shrugged, "Kind of,” he paused for a half second and then said more quickly, “But it's not like that. She…" Jensen huffed, rubbing the back of his neck, "She asked me if I was sure I liked girls. And I mean I don't not like them. I just...I don't know anymore."_

_"You don't have to. Not right now. There's still plenty of time to figure it out."_

And that was still true. They were still young yet. And they didn’t need to have everything all figured out. Society at large, along with the media, had a pretty one track mind on the whole pairing off deal. Chris liked to think of himself as more of a realist. Jensen hadn't so much as batted an eye at another guy. But Jared? Jared could be a guy. _Kid says he’s in love with Jensen._ Chris couldn’t help but snort at that. They’d only known each other for what? Not even a whole month yet. 

Don’t get him wrong. Chris liked Jared. What he’d seen of him so far. And there was no denying that fond little smile Jensen got whenever he spoke about the kid. Chris knew Jensen wasn’t really aware of it, or in the least of what it could mean.

Actually seeing them interact? That was something else entirely. Drinking had always loosened Jensen up just that little bit, but with Jared? It wasn’t anything overt, but it was definitely something. 

And there was the fact that he’d even invited Jared out with them in the first place. Jensen had never invited someone that he knew independently of Chris or Chad. Labelled or not he was moving forward and Chris wasn’t going to get in the way of that. Leaning back he put his hand on Jensen’s shoulder and shoved, “Time for breakfast.” 

Jensen mumbled something unintelligible in response but Chris was well versed in his grumpy grumbly talk, “Yeah, yeah. Coffee time too. Let’s go.”

Jensen had considered the guys night to be a success, Jared seemed to have had a good time and he got along with Chad and Chris almost seamlessly and Jensen got to spend time with him outside of the newspaper. Come Monday things had gone back to normal with Jared swinging by early to escort Danneel. By Wednesday there was already talk of what was in the line-up for Friday. Jensen really couldn’t help but huff. He’d been dragged out every Friday night over the past few or so weeks and would no doubt be expected to do so again the one coming. 

That’s when Jared had invited him to have a night in with him and his friends and Danneel had been quick to sign off on her approval to the suggestion. How could he say no? They really were becoming such great friends so it wouldn’t hurt to spend more time with them. And he’d met the other girls briefly that one time and he was sure he’d get along with them well enough. They were Jared and Danneel’s friends after all. 

The only downside he could really see was the having to tell Chris about it. There was no way he would let him get away with it without some form of teasing. But he couldn't exactly not tell him either. By the time Friday afternoon rolled around there really was no more putting it off. 

He was at Chris's place and he had been studying. Chris had his guitar out and was playing about with chords, working them out for a new song. Something that normally wouldn't distract Jensen, but he had thoughts. And he had to tell him. 

“So, uh…” Jensen cleared his throat, “You guys weren’t planning anything for tonight were you?” 

Chris’s hands paused on his guitar and he looked up and over at Jensen, eyebrow peaked, “No,” he said it slow, drawn out and put his guitar down, “Why? Are you?”

“Well, you know,” Jensen shrugged, this so wasn’t a big deal, “Jared and Danni kind of invited me to their movie night.”

“Movie night?”

“Yeah you know, they do it kind of semi-weekly with their friends and everyone stays at Danni’s. Technically Cindy’s too I guess. Though I mean it’s not always on a Friday–” and _fuck_ he was babbling, though he didn’t know if he could quite thank Chris for stopping him.

“Are you staying the night?” 

Jensen averted his gaze to the floor scratching the back of his neck which he knew spelt yes. He was nineteen years old in his sophomore year at college damnit. 

“Aww. Well ain’t that adorable,” Chris said with what had to be the biggest shit-eating grin ever, “You’re going to a _sleepover_. Hmm,” he tilted his head to the side rubbing his chin _in thought_ , “Maybe we should get you some feetie pyjamas.” 

Jensen just flipped him off with a _yeah okay laugh it up_ kind of nod and then shook his head, “It’s _footie_ pyjamas, asshole.” 

Chris kind of half huffed half snorted, “I don’t even wanna know how you know that.”

Jensen sighed, “Just don’t tell Chad okay?”

“Don't tell Chad that you're going to be in a room with six girls in their skimpy little pyjamas? Yeah I think that's the safest way for us all. Cataclysmic is what that would be, and speaking of, are _you_ gonna be okay with that?”

Jensen gave a snort of derision, “I think I’m perfectly capable of handling legs.” His brain caught up to his mouth and he saw that twinkle in Chris’s eyes before the smirk, “ _Seeing_ legs perv. You’re getting as bad as him!”

Chris held up an imaginary dagger and plunged it into his chest, “That hurts man.”

Jensen shrugged, “Gotta keep you in check son.”

They shared a glance, arched eyebrow to arched eyebrow and then they both laughed.

Up until the moment Jared had led him to Danneel and Cindy’s door Jensen had been very mildly freaking that he would somehow fail at maintaining a conversation with the girls for an entire evening. Or that maybe they wouldn’t be so happy letting an outsider into their den. But they’d all given him a warm welcome and Felicia had cozied up to his side pretty quickly. As if he’d always been there, a more permanent fixture. And he was happy that Jared had taken up the space on his other side, with a, “You can think of me as like your oestrogen buffer,” which made Jensen snort.

And the girls did too, with a scoff or two thrown in and Jared was immediately pelted with hair ties, slippers and a box of tissues. Jared just held up his hands, “Case in point.” 

“Well seeing as I’m in your orbit now, Padalecki, you may want to revise your definitions, I don’t need your help getting into the line of fire,” Jensen said around a laugh, his grin wide. He was sure his own mouth could land him into trouble all on its own. No one was ever fully immune from putting their foot into it. 

“You calling me a liability?” Jared asked with an amused sort of smile which softened the shock. 

Genevieve gave a rather devious smirk, catching Jensen’s eye when she said, “Always.” 

And the rest of the girls all hummed their agreement, “Can’t spell trouble without Jared,” Amy said with a subtle shake of her head, sitting up a little straighter, head held high, to emphasise her goodness. 

“Not you too Amy! My _sweet_ innocent little Amy. You have been corrupted by these wily vixens,” Jared covered his eyes with his hand to complete the air of drama he’d created.

The rest of them all cracked up and Jensen clapped his hand down on Jared’s knee, “Well at least no one can accuse you of not committing.” 

After they’d stuck in the first movie, take out was ordered and snacks were opened and the conversation had died down a little while everyone paid attention to the screen, though of course there was still the odd comment here and there. When their food arrived though the conversation picked right back up and everyone of course was in violent agreement with Genevieve at the general lack of truly badass women in fiction. Jensen had said _Well clearly they haven’t met you lot_ which he’d meant sincerely but he wasn’t completely unaware of the points it scored him.

Amy pushed her hands back through her hair as she said, “Present company excluded,” and pulling it into a ponytail just with her hands before she let it drop back down around her shoulders, “Boys are stupid.”

Cindy quirked her brow, “So, how _did_ your lunch date with Matt go?”

Amy shrugged a little with a hint of a blush, like maybe she’d wanted to avoid this particular conversation, “It was nice. And he was really sweet. He made me a picnic and we just had a really great time–”

“But?” and Adrianne held up her hand for it.

“I don’t know!” Amy dropped her head to Danneel’s shoulder for a moment and Danneel tapped the side of her face in a more empathetic _there, there_ kind of way, “I mean he’s pretty much perfect. There’s just… _something_ missing.”

Felicia tilted her head to the side _thoughtfully_ as she leaned more into her girlfriend, “Another set of boobs?” said with a flourish of her hand beneath Adrianne’s breasts like they were a game show prize. 

Adrianne just snickered and slung her arm round Felicia, “Our lunch date was awesome.”

Amy narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, “You guys didn’t have lunch. You had sex.”

There was no missing Adrianne’s rather lascivious grin as she said proudly, “Exactly.”

Felicia scoffed a little, “Hey! We had cupcakes.”

“Cupcakes?” Genevieve said kind of incredulously, taking the thought straight from Jensen’s mind, and they shared a glance. Or maybe he’d just been hanging out with Chad for too long. 

Danneel gave a slow nod, “Very _nutritional_.”

Adrianne gave her a not so surprisingly good natured _bitch please_ kind of look, “Healthier than pining over some professor.”

Their teasing put him more at ease and it was kind of fun to just sit back and watch them go. 

Danneel rolled her eyes with a little bit of a huff, “He’s not a professor. He’s a TA,” and then she let out a contented sigh, “And he’s _beautiful_.”

Felicia sat forward for a shoulder shimmying victory dance, complete with fist pumping action, “Computer Science Geeks for the win baby.”

Adrianne reeled her back in to her side to nuzzle her neck, “Totally hot.”

Jensen felt Jared move beside him and he turned to watch him shake his head in mock disapproval, “Danni you don’t even take that class.”

Danneel sighed, “If you saw him you’d totally be crashing it with me.”

Cindy snorted, “Yeah right. Like you’d let that happen. You want him all to yourself.”

And Genevieve threw up her hands, “Seriously, no one’s going to make a comment on the cupcake thing?”

Jensen smiled as the girls kept talking and he leaned back into the couch his eyes drawn back to Jared who bumped their shoulders together, and asked quietly, “What about you Jensen? Are you seeing anybody?” 

Jensen shrugged, “Nah. Not really looking to be with anyone right now.” And for him it was as simple as that but Jared was giving him a look, “Well I mean you know I just really need to focus on school right now and then with the paper and making time for friends, don’t think I’d really have the time.”

Jared gave a small nod, teeth sunk into his lip for a second or two before he smiled, “That makes sense.”

It seemed like Jared had maybe had more to say, and Jensen really hadn’t had a chance to ask Jared how he’d been dealing with his not-guy, “What about you? Anyone new or are you still--”

Jared sucked in a breath and stared down at his hands, “There could be residual stillness.”

“You’ll get him,” Jensen was absolutely certain of it. 

“Who?” Jared looked confused. 

“Your guy. Whoever he is. I know you will. You’re a great guy, Jared.” Anyone would be very lucky to have him as a boyfriend it didn’t take a genius to figure out, all you had to do was look at how he was with his friends. 

There was this look that Jared would give him sometimes that he gave him right in that moment, that Jensen didn’t know how to place, but it was always gone quicker than he could process, “Thanks, Jensen.” 

The following Tuesday morning Jared maybe not quite so accidentally, as it was on purpose, found himself at the campus coffee shop. Jensen was at his usual table, newspaper –though not the school one– spread across the top as he drank his coffee. And Jared took an extra moment or two while he added more sugar to his drink, safe in the knowledge that Jensen hadn’t noticed him yet before he walked over.

“Mind if I join you?”

Jensen’s paper crinkled as he looked up at Jared, “Not if you don’t mind,” he said indicating the paper as he lifted it out of Jared’s way and they shared a smile. Jensen flicked the page as Jared sat down and his eyebrow shot up as he took in the contents of Jared’s cup.

“ _What_ is that?”

Jared had opted for the seasonal/Thanksgiving pumpkin concoction which rested under a mountain of whipped cream.

Jensen winced a little, “My teeth hurt just looking at that thing.”

Jared shrugged, smile still in place, “Want to try some?”

“No,” Jensen shook his head, his smile broad, “I’m good.”

And Jared shrugged it off nonchalantly in a _your loss is my sugary gain_ kind of way as he scooped off some of the cream with a spoon. 

Jensen glanced back down at his paper, but there was something a little more half-hearted about the way his eyes scanned the page, or at least Jared thought so. He kept lifting his gaze to smile at Jared every now and again and he didn’t seem to mind so much when Jared distracted him with conversation. Though Jared really was trying his hardest to let Jensen have some of the quiet he obviously had wanted. 

_Huh_. Jared was kind of surprised when Jensen set the paper back down, though folded over to save space, he had never figured Jensen the type to read the agony aunt section. They had just been talking about what their plans for the day were when Jensen just got up mid-sentence, paper snatched clean off the table, a flurry of emotions passing over his features, “Jensen?”

“Sorry. I’ve got to--”

And then he was gone. 

Jared didn’t like the feeling it left him with. He didn’t even know how it was possible to feel so hollow when his stomach felt so full of lead. And he didn’t like what he’d seen in Jensen’s eyes. This was bad. He needed to find out what was in that column. 

Jensen had never walked so fast in his entire life. He’d never felt such a white hot rage either. He couldn’t even think straight. Everything was firing through his brain at warp speed. But he had a target and after confirming Chad’s location with Chris, there was no stopping him. It’s why he hung up before Chris could ask any questions. And he switched his phone off for good measure. 

When he found him, he was sitting on the arm of some chair talking to some girl. But Jensen didn’t care, just used the heel of his palm to knock him off and grabbed his upper arm to forcibly remove him. He chose to ignore Chad’s protests as he dragged him off and out of earshot and he was none too gentle about releasing him either once they got there.

“Jensen. The fuck man?” Chad said as he rubbed his arm.

Jensen held up the paper stabbing his finger into the page, “What the hell is this?” 

“What?” Chad asked, seemingly genuinely confused. 

“THIS,” and he thrust it closer to Chad’s face and he waited for Chad to read it. Impatiently tracking every little flicker in Chad’s eyes. 

Chad let out a heavy breath as Jensen lowered the paper, “I just wanted to help.”

“Help?” and Jensen gave a dry, dark huff, how very _quaint_ , “How is _this_ going to help me? Everyone is going to know it's me."

"Dude, I changed your name."

Jensen huffed again, lip curled, fingernails digging into his palms, "Right, because no one will be able to decipher your _ingenious_ code."

“Jensen just–” Chad started but Jensen wasn’t interested in whatever it was he had to say and he cut across him.

“You want to discuss _my_ personal life, here's a thought, why don't you talk to _me_ about it, instead of sharing it with the entire world?”

"But you won't talk to me about it. Every time I ask, you shut down. I'm worried about you, man."

Jensen just shook his head, “Well, you’ve sure got some way of showing it.”

“Sorry, I didn’t think–”

And that was exactly it.

“You never do, do you?” Jensen said bluntly with a wave of his hand before he turned to go.

He didn’t look back. 

After Jensen had left, Jared had just sat there for a moment trying to piece it all together with the limited knowledge he had, but nothing made sense. So he did the only thing he could and called Danneel who happened to be on her way to the coffee shop at that precise moment. Now Jared was walking like a half step ahead of her and she’d already given up on trying to get him to slow down. He couldn’t even if he really wanted to. He had to know. 

When they got to where they were going Jared headed straight in and snapped up a paper slapping it down on the counter along with the cash all in one fluid motion, “Just this.” 

And he had it opened up before he even got back outside and to Danneel. He couldn’t find the page fast enough. His eyes skimmed down until it jumped right out at him. 

_DEAR ABBY: A friend of mine, "Bensen" has a problem. It's his second year in college and he's still a virgin. He gave his heart to a girl in the past, and it left him bitter, emotionally unavailable and, unfortunately, unlaid. He is outgoing, but deep down he lacks confidence. How can my friends and I help him, and how can he help himself? -- HIS BFF IN CALIFORNIA_

_DEAR BFF: You are well-meaning, but the person asking this question should be your friend Bensen. While the fact that he may be "unlaid" and "unavailable" bothers you and your friends, it's possible that it doesn't bother him. If and when Bensen does tell you he is troubled by it, advise him to visit the student health centre and discuss it with a counsellor because there may be complicated reasons for it. He doesn't need help losing his virginity. But he may need help addressing his trust issues or he may always remain emotionally unavailable._

He had to read it three times before he relinquished the paper to the ever-patient Danneel, and he pushed his hands back through his hair. _Fuck_. He felt sick. And like maybe he wanted to put his fist through something. That someone could violate Jensen’s trust like that. He knew it couldn’t be Chris. He just wouldn’t. The BFF thing kind of threw him though. He looked back at Danneel just as she finished reading it.

And she didn’t need to say anything for him to know she shared in his _holy fucking shit_ sentiments. 

But she did say something, “This _has_ to be Chad.” 

Jared shook his head. His eyes flitting over their surroundings, the people milling about. The papers in people’s hands. And he just flipped. Started to snatch them off anyone close enough and he got some aggravated _heys_ thrown his way but no one seemed willing to physically challenge him. Except of course…

“Jared!” Danneel said horrified, apologising to several of the people he had accosted as they’d run off, and she grabbed his arm, “what are you doing?”

Jared took a deep breath before he looked at her, “I have to get rid of them.”

Danneel was gentle as she stroked his arm, trying to calm him he supposed, “Jared. Sweetie. You do know it’s online?”

But Jared didn’t want to be calm. _Someone_ , probably Chad, had hurt Jensen and he couldn’t abide it, “I don’t care, Danni. You didn’t see his face.”

Danneel sighed with a nod and then got out her phone to Jared’s puzzlement, “Who are you calling?”

“Reinforcements,” she said matter-of-factly, “It’s a big campus. We can’t cover it all by ourselves.” 

Jared could have kissed her, and he was definitely going to hug her later, but they had work to do, “Thanks Danni,” he said before he turned and went back inside the store to buy up the rest of the papers. 

Chris was waiting. For what and for who he wasn’t quite certain. He only hoped that they wouldn’t both show up at the same time. He’d received a call from Danneel, which was noteworthy in and of itself, to give him a heads up. Followed by a text with a link to the column. And he’d been pacing since he’d read it. _Fucking hell_. And he’d tried Jensen’s cell again for what had felt to be about the hundredth time –but was really just the eighth– since Jensen had so abruptly ended their call that morning. But it was still going straight to voicemail. 

When the knock finally came to his door he paused for a moment before pulling it open. 

It was Chad.

“You’re not going to hit me are you?” Chad asked with a faint hint of a smile and a shrug. Chris thought he meant it to lighten the mood but apparently even Chad didn’t have it in him to hit that particular mark.

“Get in,” was all Chris said, stepping aside to let him past. 

Chad didn’t move, “He’s not here is he?”

Chris tilted his head back, trying to refrain from rolling his eyes, “You see anyone else in here?”

Chad still didn’t budge. Just fixed him with a look.

Chris sighed, “He’s not here.”

Chad nodded and then stepped over the threshold with a residual air of precaution. Chris guessed he couldn’t really blame him. Well, not for that anyway. Chris closed the door. And he’d barely turned around to face his friend when Chad just let it all out, “I fucked up man. Okay? I get it. I _fucking_ get that I fucked it up. I mean I almost forgot that I even wrote that damn thing ‘til it was right in front of my face.” He bit his lip as he shook his head, “I just wanted to help him.”

Chris gave him half a smile, “I know,” fuck he knew it, that’s what made it so much worse.

Chad smacked his forehead a couple of times, “I’m such a fucking idiot.”

“Chad come on,” he hated when Chad said shit like that about himself, and, when he wasn’t pissed as all hell, Jensen did too. “Not winning any idea of the year awards sure, but you’re not an idiot.”

Chad scoffed, averting his gaze to the floor, “I wouldn’t be too sure about that.”

Chris sighed again, “Why’d you do it man?”

“I don’t know. I just, I wanted to do _something_ –” and that was Chad in a nutshell. He was a doer. The thoughts came after. Even unprompted at times. 

“Why didn’t you come to me?”

“So you could tell me to just wait and see?”

“Hey you read your response didn’t you? And oh yeah, Abby thinks it’s none of your goddamn business either. Or were you just going to ignore that as well?”

“Jesus. _Shit_. No. I….I mean it. I get it.”

“Do you?”

“Shit. Yes. Chris, we have to leave him alone and let him deal with his whatever. But how long do we give it before it gets too far? He doesn’t even _look_. He won’t even try. And I don’t want him to end up alone.”

“He won’t.”

“How can you be so sure?” 

Chris took a deep, though not so much cleansing, breath and he felt like such a jackass not giving him the whole truth, but he couldn’t tell him about Jared. Or at least the _potential_ of Jared. He couldn’t and wouldn’t break his promise to Jensen, “Look you know as well as I do that Jensen’s never been one to rush through anything. He likes to think things through and then when he’s done he thinks about them some more. He’ll get there. I know he will. But you also know what happens when you try to push him.”

Chad sighed, “Yeah, I know.”

And for a brief moment they stood in silence. What more could he say? He couldn’t advise Chad any further without actually speaking to Jensen himself. And as mentioned, Jensen would need time to digest this. How much time was the question. But still he needed to be sure they were on the same page, “Are you going to talk to him?”

Chad huffed, “Before or after he kills me?”

“Chad.”

“Yeah,” he shook his head, throwing up his hands and then scratched the back of his neck. “I’ll talk to him.”

When Jensen had left Chad he’d just walked and kept walking, avoiding any and all eye contact. He didn’t know what to do and he hadn’t felt up to talking with Chris just yet. What could he tell him anyway? He felt raw, cut open and exposed for all to see and he didn’t see how there could possibly be any words that could make him feel better. Or like he hadn’t just been betrayed by someone who could so brazenly call himself his _best friend_. He huffed, shaking his head. 

His phone was a dead weight in his pocket, possibly collecting voicemails from God knows who. He had no idea how far through his circle of friends and family that stupid fucking letter could have reached. How many of them would know. How could he look any of them in the face ever again? 

_Fucking Chad_. If he ever saw his face again it would be too soon. And he still didn’t see what the big fucking deal was. So what if he didn’t go out on dates. Just because _some_ people couldn’t function being without a significant other for like two seconds didn’t mean that he couldn’t. 

He didn’t need to be in a relationship to define himself. And screw anybody who thought he had to be. Being single wasn’t a disease. It was a state of being. And he didn’t see how it was anyone else’s fucking business or right to make him feel bad about it. 

That afternoon, Jensen had thought he’d be able to just go into the paper, keep his head down and work, but the second he walked through the door all eyes were on him and he just walked straight back out. 

Danneel had come after him.

“Jensen wait--”

And he had, none of it was Danneel’s fault and she sounded worried. Looked it too when he turned to face her. Which probably meant she had read it. 

“Don’t go,” she said with a small smile, and he kind of loved her for what she said next, “How will I get published without you?” It was their way.

“I think you’ll manage. You’re pretty brilliant all on your own,” but before she could interject he went on, “I’m not going permanently,” and he cupped her arm and it overwhelmed him a little when she just threw her arms around him for a hug which took a second or two for him to return. Before Danneel he hadn’t exactly had any female friends so hugging had never been a regular occurrence. _Not since_ … It felt good. And for that brief moment it had alleviated the weight in his chest. 

“For what it’s worth?” she said as they broke apart, “I think you’re a pretty awesome guy to get to know Jensen. And Jared thinks so to.”

It had made him smile and he’d given her arm a final squeeze before he left. “Thanks Danni.” 

Now he was climbing the stairs to his dorm, he needed to have time in his own space to think, hell just to breathe. What he hadn’t counted on was the very unwelcome _guest_ sitting at his door. Blocking his _sanctuary_. Was nothing sacred anymore? He was going to just go but Chad had leapt to his feet, “Jensen! Please. Can we just–” Chad sighed, “Please, just hear me out.”

Jensen sighed louder and shook his head, but he opened up his door and waited for Chad to get inside, “We’re not doing this out here.”

He shut the door behind them, eyes tracking Chad’s every move, “Okay. Start talking,” he said as he folded his arms across his chest, he didn’t want him there any longer than he had to be. 

“Okay,” Chad said as he sucked in his bottom lip, interlocking his fingers, “First, I want you to know how sorry I am,” at that Jensen had to look down at the floor, he wasn’t buying it, “I wasn’t trying to hurt you, man, I swear.”

“Well, you did.”

“Fuck. I know. And I know you’re pissed at me, you have every right to be, but I’m trying here–”

Jensen’s brow scrunched, “Were you going to be making a point any time soon?”

“I just don’t get why you can’t just flirt or whatever. I mean what did Sarah do to you? From where I stand you guys had a pretty amic–. Amenia–, what’s the word?”

“Amicable,” Jensen provided, albeit begrudgingly. It was force of habit.

“Right _that_ kind of break up. No one even knew about it ‘til like days after. So what?”

Jensen just shrugged. Why was Chad even bringing that shit up? It didn’t have anything to do with him running his goddamn mouth. 

“You could have your pick of girls. Hell you could probably get more action than me, enough of them ask about you–”

“Stop talking,” Jensen said quietly, sharply. He didn’t want to hear it anymore. 

“But you turn down every pass–”

“Enough,” Jensen said a little louder, tick in his jaw, which Chad ignored.

“Just tell me why?”

“Because I’m gay!” he almost shouted and he could feel the thrum of his heart in his ears, and for all the world Chad looked like Jensen had just physically struck him. Jensen felt sick.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Jensen was sure he didn’t even need to snort at that one, but he did, accompanied by a _you’re not really going to make me spell this one out for ya_ kind of look. 

_Strike Two_. That one was going to leave a mark. But Chad didn’t stick around for the third. He left without another word. Didn’t even slam the door. Just snicked it shut. A pang of guilt had tugged at the knots in Jensen’s stomach as the emotion had flickered over Chad’s face. Which really just annoyed Jensen even more. He was the wronged party here. He shouldn’t feel bad for getting to give a little back. 

_Shit_.

As with most mornings, Jensen found himself awake before his alarm was due to go off. And normally that was a thing he prided himself on. A simple joy that he took pleasure in, which got him up and going. But today, as with the last couple of days, he didn’t move a muscle. Just glared down the time before cancelling the alarm and turning it away. He was tempted to just go back to sleep, but it had been hard enough trying to get to sleep the night before. And at any rate, there was too much daylight seeping in through the curtains for sleep to be possible. 

He wasn’t going to get up. He didn’t have any classes to get to, it being a Friday and all, but he probably would have skipped them anyway even if he had. He’d missed a few already. Had only gone to one or two he absolutely couldn’t afford to miss. But other than that he’d only left his room for coffee runs. Hadn’t even really turned his phone back on either, except to check to see if his mom had text him. He didn’t need her worrying about him on top of everything else. And he didn’t need her contacting Chris either.

Jensen wasn’t ready to see Chris yet. He was both certain and uncertain about what Chris might have to say, but Jensen couldn’t take a defence of Chad’s actions. Chris would want him to be all “mature” and “rational”. Whatever that meant. Not seeing the jerk that stabbed you in the back made perfect sense to Jensen. What was immature and irrational about that? Lines had been blurred and crossed and redefined before. But this? 

He had to get out. He was in need of another caffeine fix anyway. And he couldn't bear another minute more staring at his ceiling. He pulled on his jeans, a fresh t-shirt, a hoodie and some sneakers and he was out the door. Arms hugged to himself. There wasn’t really too much foot traffic at that time of day which made it easier to keep his gaze below chest level. He watched his feet as he moved, getting lost in the rhythm of his stride. He almost walked right into, “Jared?”

Jared took a half step back to give them more space, hands in his pockets, small smile on his lips, “Hi Jensen.”

“Hey.”

“It’s good to see you, man.”

“Yeah,” _fuck_ , if he could have smacked himself in the face, “I mean, you too.”

Jared just continued to smile, “You heading in?” he asked with a nod to the coffee shop.

Jensen nodded and Jared went first, held the door for him, “Thanks.”

The cinnamon hit them the second they were inside, Jared inhaled deep, eyes closed, “God I love that smell.”

Jensen snorted, “You sound like a kid in a candy house,” he could just picture it, like Hansel and Gretel, minus the wicked witch, “You’d just scarf the whole damn thing wouldn’t you?”

Jared shrugged with a laugh, “Well you know, _no power in the verse_ and all that,” and he winked. 

Firefly references always scored points, but still, “Hmm,” Jensen said with a down turn of his lips, as Jared placed their order.

“What?”

“Well, I dunno if Felicia or Addy would agree with you on that,” he said with a cock of his brow.

Jared laughed and his bangs fell across his eyes, “Probably not. But that’s part of their charm.”

“Gotta agree with you there,” each of the girls had admirable traits; they knew who they were and they made no apologies. Jared too. 

“Next time we have a game night, you should definitely come over. You still owe Cindy a rematch.”

“She’s still kinda pissed, huh?”

Jared nodded, “Little bit yeah.” 

“Well I don’t know about tonight,” Jensen crossed his arms as he picked up his coffee, holding the cup at his elbow, he didn’t feel quite up to hanging out in such big numbers, “But maybe some time after break?”

“Sure,” Jared smiled picking up his own drink and led the way over to a table, “You going home for Thanksgiving?”

Jensen nodded, letting his cheeks puff out as he exhaled. _Home_. His family. He was supposed to be flying out with Chris _and Chad_ , “That’s the plan.”

“Me too. I can’t wait to get home to all that food,” and at Jensen’s look added, “And my family of course.”

“Of course. Food before family. Your mom–”

“Would kill me. But, dude, it’s so worth it. You have to let me tell you…” 

And Jensen did let Jared tell him _all_ about the Padalecki Thanksgiving Feast right down to the last side dish. It felt good just to listen and to not have to really think about anything but what Jared was saying and just offer up a comment or two here and there, let Jared do the talking. Jensen drank his coffee and ended up staying for a second cup. 

Jensen was in his mom’s kitchen drying and putting away the dishes that Chris had been washing. It was their first night back home and his mom probably would have let them get away with not helping out, but they had both insisted. And maybe Jensen had been putting off being absolutely alone with his best friend. There had of course been the drive to the airport that morning, but it had been too early to start in on anything and Chris had seemed to agree. And once they were actually at the airport it was much too public. Then they were home and swarmed by family. But things were winding down for the day and of course his mom had to go and ask _that_ question.

“So where’s Chad?”

Guilt clenched in his gut when he didn’t know the answer, but he wasn’t going to care. He shrugged almost imperceptibly, his eyes briefly meeting with Chris’s. Chris had the intel, “He went to his dad’s. Said he wanted to spend some time with him.”

Jensen’s mom frowned and Jensen bit his lip. That didn’t sound like Chad at all. Given the choice he would much rather spend such occasions either with the Kane or Ackles family. Not that Chad didn’t love his dad, or his mom. But they didn’t exactly have the greatest sense of family and Chad had never not spent Thanksgiving with Jensen and Chris. 

But whatever. Chad should have thought about that before he decided to humiliate Jensen on a national scale. Though thankfully it seemed no one in his immediate family had seen it. Could just be biding their time of course. Avoiding Josh was pretty much a solid plan for any family get-together. He liked to be an ass when he had a captive audience. 

So when they finally got to Jensen’s room, door closed behind them, there really was no more running from it. 

"Is this how it's going to be?"

Didn’t mean Jensen had to make it easy. "What?"

"This?” Chris threw up his hands, “Is this it? Coming up for two decades of friendship and we're just _not_ going to talk about it?"

Jensen shrugged, keeping his eyes down until he looked at Chris, "What do you want me to say?"

And their eyes locked. Chris measuring him up, he was sure, to weigh the bullshit, "I know you're pissed–"

And Jensen was done with sentences that started with how _he_ was supposed to feel, "Yeah I am. And if it was as simple as that then I–" Jensen shook his head. It was unquantifiable. They may not have been blood, but he had always considered them to be brothers, and he just couldn’t wrap his head around how someone so close could hurt him so profoundly. 

It didn’t even bear thinking of what Chad would do with the new information he’d received, _fuck_ , "I told him." 

Jensen knew that Chris probably already knew that, there was no way Chad wouldn’t have taken it to Chris. But Jensen hadn't really fully allowed himself to think about it, he still didn’t think he could, but he’d needed to say it.

"What does that mean for you?" is what Chris asked, ever the diplomat. 

Jensen shrugged, "Does it have to mean something?"

Chris shrugged right back with a shake of his head, "That's up to you, man."

"Is it? Apparently _some_ people seem to think they need to make decisions for me."

"He wouldn't...” Chris took a breath. “Not with this."

"He told you," Jensen shot back.

"That's not the same and you know it,” Chris said, voice level. 

"Yeah well,” Jensen found his gaze sweeping the floor once again, to hell with reason, “Slippery slope."

Chris scrubbed his hand down over his mouth, "He didn't do it to hurt you."

"Maybe not. But that's beside the point." 

"What is the point?"

"I can't trust him.” 

"Have you ever really tried?"

Jensen scoffed. 

And he would have argued but Chris didn’t let him start, "Don’t. You need to give him a chance,” and Chris huffed a little, “I mean you of all people know there's a lot more to him than what he lets surface. And you know how _you_ feel when other people make that assumption and just dismiss him. So are you really going to let yourself be that guy?"

Fuck if Chris didn’t know exactly what to say to make him feel like absolute shit. And _fuck_ of course he didn’t. But he still didn’t know what Chris wanted him to say, “I don’t know how to make this right.”

“You won’t. Until you talk to him. You owe him that at least.”

“What if he doesn’t want to talk?”

They shared a look. 

Apparently that was one question that Chris didn’t have the answer for either. 

Jared was out on the back porch of the Harris home. He, Genevieve and Danneel had returned home sans Adrianne who had decided to spend Thanksgiving with her girlfriend. Their families had long shared their get-togethers to keep their children happy and the Palickis weren’t too happy about their daughter not joining them. Danneel had been giving them the skinny on Felicia and the rest of their new friends, so Jared had decided to slip out for a moment while everyone’s attention was diverted. 

He must have zoned out or something though because he nearly jumped out of his skin when he received the nudge to his side from Genevieve, "There's unattended, uneaten pie sitting on the kitchen counter and you're out here all on your own doing what?"

He’d known of course that any alone time would be short lived and while he hadn’t quite expected Genevieve he wasn’t exactly surprised either that she was the one to find him, but still, "Did Danni send you?" 

Genevieve pinned him with one of her more deadly looks, "Have you ever known Danni to need a messenger?” and she arched her brow at him, “And I am nobody's messenger girl."

Jared huffed a laugh, truer words and all that, “So what are you after?” escape probably most likely. She didn’t like being made a fuss of, especially not when the conversation turned to relationships or lack thereof. _Ah parents_.

She shrugged, "Well I don't know if you've noticed but you're kinda freakishly tall and I need something from the top shelf," lips tugged up in a smirk. 

Jared scoffed, "Freakishly?"

"I stand by that."

"Yeah we'll see who has the last laugh, Cortese, next time we're in a crowd and you can't see. You just lost piggy back privileges."

“Pfft,” she said with a quick jab of her knuckles to his arm, “You’d huff for like two seconds and then you’d cave. You’re a softie, Padalecki. Always have been.”

“Okay, first off: Ow!” Jared said with a pout as he rubbed his arm where she’d hit him, “I swear you have _Adamantium_ bones. And secondly, you’re not the only vertically challenged one in our group anymore, so…”

“You just keep talking, Stretch, and I’ll give you a _vertical challenge_ ,” and she shoved him playfully, shaking her head.

“Bring it, Pint-size,” he said fondly, lightly bumping his fist into her shoulder and a quiet fell between them.

The silence drew Jared’s eyes back down to his cell in his other hand. He swiped his thumb back and forth across the screen almost absently, actively resisting the urge to check it again. 

“So are you going to actually tell me? Or–”

“He hasn’t text me.” That was a loaded answer if there ever was one, but he hadn’t meant it to be.

“What, and you can’t text him?”

“He said he’d text when he landed,” and Jared didn’t want to seem clingy or too overly concerned, but really he’d be just as miffed if it was Genevieve or Danneel or any of his other girls who hadn’t kept him updated. 

“He’s probably too zombie-brained. Flights do take it out of you. And if his family is anything like yours he probably hasn’t had a minute.”

 _True_. And Jared knew it was kind of crazy. That there were probably perfectly good explanations as to why he hadn’t. 

But, “Hey, your folks are just as happy to see you.”

“Sure. But they’re not _Pada_ -happy.”

“Whatever that means,” he grumped a little. Genevieve’s family was kind of quiet and her mom was every bit the tomboy she had wanted her daughter to be and her dad was one of those _real men don’t show emotions_ kind of dads. Jared knew that his family could be a little _enthusiastic_. That’s just how they were. But enthusiasm wasn’t the only measure of love. 

“Not to be a total bitch here, but you do remember he’s not actually your boyfriend?”

And there it was. 

“I know.” God did he know. And he was dealing. Mostly. They had been texting pretty much non-stop since their first encounter after the letter, but he couldn’t really call it flirting, “I know.”

“So how about you and me head back inside. Grab the pie and make a run for Danni’s bedroom?”

“Devious. I like it,” he said with a thoughtful nod and a grin.

Later that night when he was turning in for bed, a good couple of hours earlier than his usual, he got a text from Jensen.

_Hey. Sorry man. Home safe. Think I need to sleep for like a decade. –J_

As good as it had been to get away from _the incident_ and the looks that followed it. Jensen was glad to be back at school. There was just the matter of taking that step back into the paper. He hadn’t been too sure on what to expect. Desk poaching wasn’t uncommon. It was the nature of journalism. But miraculously Jensen’s desk was as he left it. Seemed he had a new neighbour though. Danneel smiled as he approached, “My desk, is still _my_ desk?”

“Yep,” she nodded as she got to her feet.

“How did you–?” he started indicating between the two desks.

“I had to kill a guy.”

Jensen nodded, lips curved down as he tapped his chin with his finger, and then he nodded a _fair enough_ , “Jared help get rid of the body?”

Danneel gave a _well you know_ kind of shrug, “He knows what’s good for him,” and they shared a grin.

Jensen took a sweeping glance round the room, to Danneel’s old desk and the person now sitting there, and to her new one right across from his, “You moved.”

“Well hey, every _Lois_ worthy of her salt needs a _Clark Kent_ right?”

Jensen smiled, he knew what she meant, but still _Clark Kent_ , the mild-mannered klutz with glasses, “Did you just call me a dork?”

“But only to your face. And what are you talking about? Superman isn’t a dork.”

“You didn’t call me _Superman_.”

“I call you _Superman_ you might start wearing blue tights with red underpants over the top, which I feel would be mildly to moderately disturbing.”

“Good thing there’s no phone booth in here.”

“Hey what you get up to in your free time is none of my business.”

Jensen sighed, “Spandex: so underappreciated.”

Danneel covered her ears, “La la la, not listening.”

They’d been back for a week and a half when Jensen came to the decision that he needed to stop being a little bitch about the whole thing and actually be the mature young adult he claimed to be. He’d had more than enough time to think about it and Chris was right and he was done pretending that he wasn’t. He had to talk to Chad. He’d started tapping out a text to him about a half dozen times but what could he really say via text that wouldn’t sound flat? Hollow? Stupid? It was the kind of conversation that required being face to face. Jensen did owe him that. 

Jensen scrubbed his hand down his face and then slid his fingers across his mouth with one final steadying breath before he knocked on Chad’s door. 

“What?!” came the gruff response. 

“It’s me. Think you could maybe open the door so we can talk?”

Nothing. Jensen sighed and was about to knock again when the door opened. Chad didn’t say anything. Didn’t look at him either. Just leaned into the door. 

“Can I come in?”

Chad just shrugged and Jensen entered the room after a brief pause. 

He was just taking a moment to collect his thoughts, he hadn’t been able to come up with one good way of starting this conversation. But apparently it was a moment too long in Chad’s book, “Right well, just say what you came here to say and then you can be on your way.”

“What?” 

“I just want it over with.”

“You want what over with?”

“Well, you came here to tell me you never want to see my face again right, so…”and Chad rolled his hands in a _get on with it_ kind of way.

“If I didn’t want to see your face, then why would I come here?”

Chad shrugged.

“Shit, Chad. I came here to apologise.” 

“For what?”

“For what I said. Or didn’t say. I should have–”

“I don’t know. Maybe you were right. I was pretty one-track about it.”

“And now?”

“I’m sorry for pushing that on you. That’s just my way. It’s me. But…”

“But what?”

“But it’s not. Me, I mean. I just–” Chad shrugged again. It had been his coping mechanism. 

Jensen figured Chad didn’t have the words for now, but when he did Jensen would be there to listen, “Yeah. I get you.”

“So does that mean–”

“We’re good?”

“Yeah.”

Jensen nodded his agreement, “Then we’re good,” and he held out his hand for Chad to shake, and they shared a _bro_ hug, thump to the back included. 

It was Cocktail Night with the girls. Jared was buzzed. And very pleasantly so. He’d been up dancing with Cindy and Adrianne, but they needed to rehydrate? Re-lubricate? Jared snorted at himself. Yeah neither of those sounded right. But whatever meant more booze he was all for that. Anyway. He’d kind of collapsed down next to Amy when they got back to their corner, slinging his arm across her shoulders he pulled her in tight. She and Genevieve had been holding the fort. Unattended seats would be swarmed and taken over. 

Felicia and Danneel had been on mission to get more drinks. And they’d kind of timed it perfectly, arriving almost simultaneously. 

“Flix,” Danneel pouted a little, “you _have_ to teach me some computer science words so that I can talk to Misha.”

Felicia set down her tray of drinks and then threw up her hands, “What like you want to _RAM_ his _hard drive_?” which had Jared and all the rest of the girls giggling.

Danneel was not amused, “Felicia!”

Felicia frowned, “Wait…you want him to RAM _your_ hard drive..?”

“Stop saying hard drive!”

“Well what are you asking me for? I’ve never flirted with a guy. Don’t boys like dirty innuendos?”

“Misha isn’t just some boy. He’s smart and sophisticated. A man. So how would he find me saying something like _that_ sexy?”

Felicia gave Danneel a pointed look before directing said look down to Danneel’s breasts, which Danneel promptly crossed her arms over with an, “Ugh.”

Felicia tipped her head back on a sigh, “He likes yoga.”

“What?”

“Yoga. He likes it.”

“How do you know?”

“Well I’ve definitely seen him carrying a yoga mat to and from class a bunch of times.”

Adrianne shook her head, “Danni, babe, you just need to be you. He’ll forget what a computer even is.”

Which got an “Exactly,” from Genevieve and a, “She’s right,” from Cindy. 

“He will!” Amy kind of blurted, “You’re beautiful, Danni, and so wicked smart and funny, and I fully support you in your endeavour to go after a real man. Because boys are stupid. Screw them and that stupid third date rule bullshit.”

“Here, here,” Jared piped up, apparently _sweet_ Matt wasn’t so sweet after all, so much as he was an insensitive jerk. He’d gone off on one when Amy had told him she wanted to break things off. They hadn’t even been serious. Jared wanted to wring his neck. But he would settle for comforting his friend. “And to Danni,” he said as he raised his glass, “For saving me, once again, from _the_ most tragically dull first date to ever ever,” and he downed the rest of his French martini. “You’re the bestest friend I could ever have,” she would always be his first call.

“Love you too, Jare,” Danneel smiled.

“I do love you. I love all my ladies,” and he gave Amy an extra squeeze, “you know what, Amy, I’ll be your boyfriend. And then we’ll never be bored or jerk-faced. Though I don’t think we have the right amount of boobs.”

Amy glanced down at her own boobs for a moment and then back up into Jared’s face, “Or penises.”

“Or penises!” Jared said maybe a little too loudly, “Good point.”

Cindy pushed her hand back through her hair and she sat forward, more serious-like, “Is it penises? Or is it penisi?”

And they all erupted into laughter, alcohol spraying everywhere and Jared buried his face in Amy’s shoulder. He’d definitely needed that.

When Jared woke up the following morning the only thing he knew was that he needed coffee. And lots of it. He was totally still half asleep but he had shit to get done that day on top of the actually going to classes. So he needed to be alert. Hence coffee.

And the _real_ stuff like Jensen liked. Not his usual. Though he didn’t think he would be able to part with the sugar or cream. Regular black coffee was just too strong all on its own. But maybe coffee wasn’t the only thing his brain was seeking. 

He hadn’t even really been paying that much attention to where he was walking, his feet knew where to take him, and his heart jolted a little when he bumped right into Chris who easily steadied him. 

“You okay there?” Chris asked with a tinge of amusement, and of course Jensen was with him. 

It really should be illegal for Jensen to look that hot so early in the morning. And that smile of Jensen’s still made Jared feel weak in the knees, “What? Yeah. I’m good,” his body was most definitely awake now, but his brain was still playing a bit of catch up, “I’m good.”

Jensen and Chris both snorted at that, “Just severely under-caffeinated?” Jensen suggested with a smirk.

“Still doing better than you pre-coffee. I mean at least he can still use words. And vaguely sentence-like even.”

Jensen flipped Chris off but Chris just ignored it turning his attention back to Jared, “Anyway, I thought sugar was your poison of choice?”

“Well yeah,” Jared couldn’t deny that, hell he’d just been thinking it, “but I think I need something a little sturdier right now.”

Jensen smiled right at him again. Maybe Jared needed a shot of espresso. He let the guys go in first and Jared got his white coffee and a bacon sandwich and they sat down together. Chris pulled out his phone and Jared did the same, but Jensen had a book with him which he only opened up after taking that first sip of his coffee. Jared stretched his arms out and up on a yawn before taking a sip of his own, and immediately grabbed another couple of packets of sugar from the middle of the table. 

This was one time where Jared could really appreciate that Jensen and Chris weren’t exactly what you’d call morning people; they liked their quiet. And Jared kind of liked it too. The uninterrupted minutes of getting to just watch Jensen exist without it making things weird or uncomfortable. But it made his heart ache.

Now arguably Jensen was more put together than Jared was right now, but his hair was still a little sleep rumpled, sticking up every which way in places, the spikes looking softer sans product, not that Jensen used a lot, but he liked to keep it tidy. Jared wanted to run his fingers through it. Or bury his nose in the crook of Jensen’s neck. Map out the freckles on his forearm. Jensen gave him one of those devastatingly beautiful smiles of his when he glanced up from his book and Jared was powerless to do anything but smile back.

Jared had the number of some guy from his night out with the girls still in his pocket. There had been more dancing and even more drinks and he’d met him when it had been his turn to buy. There had been flirting and Jared might have flirted back a little. He was probably going to give him a call. Well maybe. He hadn’t made up his mind yet. There were still things to weigh up and consider. He’d liked him well enough, sure, but there was still something not quite.

Jared blinked when Jensen got up, the action snapping him out of his whatever. Jensen was getting a second cup of coffee. _Jeez_. How long had he zoned out? 

Chris leaned in as soon as his best friend was out of earshot, “Don’t give up on him.”

“What?”

Chris sighed scratching the back of his neck, “Look I know it’s not easy. Waiting sucks, man. But please. Just don’t give up on him just yet.”

“What are you. Why are. Did he say something?”

“Not in so many words. But he _likes_ you, Jared. I know it.”

That weird feeling settled in his chest again. Jensen wanting him. That’s what Jared wanted more than anything. He was weary of getting his hopes up too high, but at the same time he knew that Chris wouldn’t have said anything if he wasn’t certain it would come to something. Jared didn’t get a chance to say anything else on it though because it was then that Jensen returned to the table. Maybe Jared needed to re-think his approach.

Over the next few days Jared and Jensen had spent significantly more time in each other’s company at Jared’s orchestration mostly, though Jensen had extended a few invitations of his own in reciprocation. Jared had reached the conclusion that time and space apart wasn’t doing them any favours. So they would meet up for coffee and breakfast, for lunch, after classes and in between, and if hanging out ran over into dinner? Jared wasn’t hearing any complaints. 

So it really shouldn’t have come as a surprise to Jared when Jensen wanted to spend his Sunday with him. Sure Jensen hadn’t exactly phrased it like that. But it didn’t make him any less excited about it. He’d even stayed at his own dorm for once so that they could start the day sooner; reduce any waiting around. They ended up just going on a wander round the town. But it was great getting to just talk and at length about anything and everything. 

And naturally sports came up, “What?!” Jensen said kind of loudly, and he shook his head in disbelief, “You’ve got to be kidding me. Cowboys all the way man. How did I not know this about you? You seemed so normal.”

Jared scoffed at that, followed rather swiftly by a confused laugh as Jensen grabbed his wrist to raise his arm, and gave him a once over, before letting Jared’s arm drop back to his side, “What are you doing?”

“Looking for any visible indicators of your insanity.”

“What, like this?” and Jared kind of spun around arms flailing into the start of some crazy gesture when he dropped his ice cream that they had literally just got moments before at Jared’s insistence. 

Jensen snickered a little but then sucked in his lips to try and cover and he placed his hand over his mouth to hold it in.

Jared pouted, he’d barely even touched it. And he was staring down at the smooshy melty carnage when Jensen’s fully intact ice cream dropped into his eye line.

“Here,” Jensen said softly, “You can have mine.”

When Jared looked up it was almost as if everything shifted into slow motion, the way their eyes met and the way they were pulled together as if by an external force, and Jared really just couldn’t fight it. 

He kissed him. 

And he knew he felt Jensen kissing him back, just like he felt the second that he pulled away. Jared had barely opened his eyes when Jensen just turned and fled. His chest tightened. His heart sunk. He looked down at Jensen’s ice cream in his hand. He didn’t know what to do with it. But he wasn’t going to eat it, that was for sure.

Jensen paced back and forth in front of the couch. 

_He kissed me_.

Chris was just sitting, tuning his guitar. He’d just had it restrung. The band had a gig that night. Jensen of course had offered his own guitar to Chris, not like he was using it anyway, but Chris wouldn’t have it.

 _Jared kissed me_.

Jensen didn’t know how to process that. It was just so sudden. They had been talking, goofing around and then…

“He kissed me,” he finally said out loud.

And as cool as anything, without even having to look up Chris said, “So Jared, right?”

Which stunned Jensen for a moment, “How–”

Chris looked up then and set his guitar to the side, “Jensen, come on, man. Who else do you hang out with lately?”

“I still hang out with you and–” Jensen started, just a tad defensive, but Chris headed him off at the pass again, holding up his hands.

“Yeah. You do. But that’s not what I meant.”

Well Jensen wasn’t sure what exactly he did mean, but at any rate, “We’re just good friends,” and Jensen really didn’t want to lose that.

“You are,” Chris said with a nod, but Jensen could _feel_ whatever it was Chris hadn’t said, even if he didn’t know what it was.

“Why would he want to kiss me?” There had to be plenty of other guys out there better suited to Jared. Jensen was just…Jensen. 

But Chris just gave him the eyebrow in a _you’re not really gonna make me answer that_ kind of way.

Jensen scratched the back of his neck. Could Jared really be attracted to him? 

"Well did you like it?" 

"Like what?" 

"The kiss. You know, before you high tailed it." 

Jensen let his head drop to the side, touching his lips as he actually thought back to before. To the kiss. That little smile on Jared’s lips that melted into a full blown grin just before he’d leaned in. Jensen had been drawn to it, to Jared. He’d felt…he didn’t know exactly what, but he felt it and he’d let himself feel it in that moment. “Yeah. I liked it.”

“So what are you going to do about it?”

Jensen could feel the knots forming in the pit of his stomach. He _liked_ Jared. And the kiss…what if Jared hadn’t liked it? Or maybe he’d be pissed that Jensen had essentially rejected him by running away…

Jensen blinked at the sound of Chris’s voice, “I think you should talk to him.”

 _Right_. Talk. He could do that.

Jared was lying down on Danneel’s bed, his head in her lap, “I’m such a fucking idiot!” he said for what had to be the millionth time. There had been pacing and smacking his own head repeatedly but Danneel had put a stop to that.

“Jared,” she admonished, fingers pausing in their path through his hair, “You’re not an idiot!”

Maybe not. But that didn’t stop him from feeling like one, “It was too soon,” and he pushed himself up to sit next to her, his head falling to her shoulder, “But fuck, I just wanted it so bad. And now I’ve ruined everything.”

“Everything? Really?”

“What if he never wants to speak to me again?”

“Jared, come on, I think you just took him by surprise. He probably just needs time to process.”

“And what if the processing comes to the conclusion that he doesn’t want me in his life?”

“Well then he’d be a major bonehead.”

“Danni–”

“Jared. I don’t think Jensen’s that kind of guy. And you don’t either. Chris thinks you have a shot right? And I’ve seen the way Jensen looks at you. He always perks up a little when your name is dropped in the conversation. And don’t even get me started on when you’re actually together.”

“I thought you wanted me to err on the side of caution and be open to moving on?”

“Yeah, well what can I say?” she shrugged with a smile, “I totally ship you guys.”

Jared kind of half-snorted with the hint of a chuckle as he shook his head, "Okay, but if I find out you're writing fic about me, we so can't be friends anymore."

“You wish you were so interesting.” 

“I’m plenty interesting.”

Danneel held up finger, “But do you have a cult following?”

Jared had only just been able to get to sleep the night before and he had wakened way earlier than he normally would have, but he didn’t get up right away. He was in Danneel’s bed, arms wrapped around her, her head resting on his chest. It didn’t escape him how beautiful she was or how easily she fit against him or how much simpler everything would be if they could just be together. He did love her. But not like that. Jared had never had any doubts that he was gay. He just knew. Just like he knew that he wanted to be with Jensen. 

But Jared had been prepared to just act as if nothing had happened when he saw Jensen again. Whenever he saw him again. He hadn’t thought it would be so soon, never mind the next day but regardless he had headed straight for the coffee shop after he left Danneel’s. Just in case. And there he was, walking right towards him. They’d barely said hey to one another when Jensen just blurted out an apology.

But Jared still didn’t really want to make a big deal out of it, he didn’t want to make Jensen feel uncomfortable around him, “You don’t have to–”

“No. I want to. I shouldn’t have run off like that–”

“It was my fault. I–”

“I like you Jared. A lot. But I’ve never done this before. With a guy,” Jensen bit his lip, eyes flicking down to the ground. A flush crept up round his neck as he looked back up into Jared’s eyes, like he couldn’t quite believe what he was about to say, but he said it anyway, “You give me butterflies.”

Jared was glad when he did and he smiled wide, dimples at full force on his cheeks, “Well I like you a lot too. And,” he said taking Jensen’s hands, he didn’t want to freak him out with the other _L word_ , and good god did he want to kiss him, “Whatever speed you want to set? I’ll go the limit.”

“Jared–”

“Feel free to write me a ticket if I go over.”

They both huffed a laugh, Jared shook his head and Jensen gave Jared’s hands a squeeze as he took a deep breath, “You mean it?”

“I do.”

They stared at each other for a moment.

“Walk me to class?” Jensen asked.

“Sure. I can do that.”

They dropped one set of hands but kept holding the other, and when they got to Jensen’s class the older boy placed a kiss on Jared’s cheek before they parted ways. Which made Jared feel a ridiculous amount of happy. He might even have gone so far as to say giddy. Not that you would find him skipping any time soon. But the feeling was there. He had to tell Danneel.

Jensen had felt nervous, but the good kind of nervous, when he’d been waiting on Jared so they could go on their first official date. If you wanted to get persnickity –Danneel– he supposed you could say they had been on a few unofficial dates. Either way they still didn’t count in Jared’s or Jensen’s book. They were going to an art gallery, there was a photography exhibit that Jensen had wanted to see and Jared had seemed pretty happy with that too. And any kind of nerves Jensen had had melted away the instant he saw Jared.

On their way to the exhibition room, they had spotted one of the guided tours for the main gallery and they’d snuck onto the back of it. And they’d had to slink back out of it almost immediately from fear of being asked to leave, neither of them able to keep a straight face. Jensen much preferred to take his own impressions from art anyway. Hold the pretention. 

Putting on his best and yet still tragically awful _posh_ English accent right alongside Jared for a painting or two was definitely a highlight of the day. He loved that he could be dorky with him. Jared was holding his hand again and Jensen really liked that a lot too. It was small, simple, but it made him feel connected to Jared. And maybe it was silly, this was only their first date after all, but it made him feel freer, like he could do anything.

When they got to the actual exhibit things quietened down between them as they moved around the space. There weren’t too many other people around so Jensen felt less obligated to not linger. It was nice to actually get to take the time to just absorb. To contemplate. There was just something about photography that had always spoken to him. But maybe it didn’t exactly speak to Jared in quite the same way, “You hate it don’t you?”

Not that Jensen thought Jared wasn’t interested. He just seemed to be more interested in Jensen’s face. Jensen could feel Jared’s eyes on him. 

“What?” Jared scrunched up his brow, “Of course not. I like how the compositions meet the uh–”

“Jared,” Jensen said with a cock of his brow, smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Well okay,” Jared said turning in to Jensen “but you were excited about it when you were telling me about it,” and he closed his fingers in Jensen’s t-shirt, “so I wanted to do it for you.”

Jensen disentangled Jared’s hand from his clothing and he pulled him into a kiss.

“I don’t _hate_ it,” Jared said softly.

Jensen shrugged, “We don’t have to stay if you don’t want.”

“No. I want to. We can go when you’re ready. I already got what I came to see.”

Jared kissed him this time with a lot more heat behind it, “Jay,” he breathed, eyes closed. He wished they could be in an uninterrupted bubble, just them two, and Jared let their foreheads touch together and he took Jensen’s hands in his own.

“You could always tell me how they make you feel?” 

Jensen looked up at the picture they had stopped at, “They make me wish I’d brought my camera.”

With raised eyebrows they shared a silent exchange, yeah, yeah not allowed to take pictures in the exhibit. But not what Jensen meant. And he liked that Jared just got that.

“What do you want to take pictures of?”

“I’ve got a pretty good subject in mind,” Jensen smirked and without missing a beat Jared gave him his best _blue steel_ , cheeks sucked in, and Jensen lost it, laughing full on, head thrown back. And Jared was right there with him. Their loudness drawing the wrong kind of attention but Jensen couldn’t find it in himself to care, “Let’s get out of here.”

“Lead the way,” Jared said and he linked their arms together as they walked out.

There was nothing Jared enjoyed more than making out with his boyfriend. But don’t expect him to remember what they’d been talking about moments before. All he knew was that it had started out slow and that it had been Jensen who initiated it this time. And how strong, steady, Jensen’s hand felt cupping the side of his face. How soft Jensen’s lips felt against his own. The heat of his tongue. And how good Jensen’s hands felt curving round Jared’s ass when they gave in to gravity and Jared slotted perfectly on top of Jensen.

His hips rocked forward of their own accord, a slave to the force and his hand slipped. His palm rubbed over Jensen’s crotch, the hitch in Jensen’s breath making him stop and he removed his hand before Jensen even said, “Jared.”

“Sorry,” he said, pushing himself up just enough, arms planted on either side of Jensen, “Can’t seem to stop thinking about it. About you. Touching you,” and he couldn’t hold back the roll of his hips, his erection sliding along Jensen’s thigh.

“When you touch yourself?” Jensen almost whispered.

“Well yeah. Don’t you think about me?”

“When _I_ touch myself?” 

“Jensen,” he said with a hint of a laugh, small smile.

Jensen sighed, shifting a little and Jared moved to get off of him so that they could both sit back up. Jared had to fight back the urge to just put his arm around him, but Jensen hadn’t put any distance between them. He was still right there next to him so Jared was taking that as a good sign.

“I don’t know,” Jensen shrugged, “I never really thought about it. I don’t really think about anything. Mostly I just want to get it over with.”

Jared’s heart started to race on the back of a heavy clunk, but he needed to keep it together and not freak out here. This was Jensen. He wasn’t like everyone else, “You don’t like it?”

“What? No. I mean, I don’t know. I just…I don’t want to be perving on someone behind their back.”

And relief rushed over Jared and also a deep need to just squish the complete adorability right out of his boyfriend, “Well you have my permission to perv on me,” Jared said with a kiss, “Often,” kissing him again, “As much as necessary,” and again. 

“Jay,” Jensen breathed between their lips and Jared did pull him into his arms, letting their noses slide together.

“It’s good Jensen. It feels so good. You need to let yourself enjoy it. You,” he slid his fingers along Jensen’s collar bone, teasing round the neck line of his t-shirt. He took in the scent of Jensen before pulling back enough to look at him.

Jensen grabbed his other hand, “Thinking about you?”

“Well yeah. Me. Or I dunno, whoever you’re into. Liam Hemsworth is pretty hot.”

Jensen shoved him playfully, “Shut up.” 

“You don’t agree?” Jared asked, eyebrow raised.

“Well of course he’s hot. But he’s not you.”

Jared couldn’t help but chuckle a little as he nuzzled Jensen’s neck, “You are such a smooth bastard Ackles.”

“Well, one of us has to be.”

Jared scoffed and they started _wrestling_ , rolling about on the bed, ‘til there was one pinned down in _defeat_. But when Jensen’s _prize_ was Jared’s mouth, Jared didn’t think losing was really all that bad.

Later that day when Jensen was on his own he found himself lying on his bed. Hands resting on his abdomen. After Jared had left he’d made a decision to get some studying done and he’d given it a solid two hours but he knew taking a break was just as important. So that’s what he was doing. Didn’t really feel like doing anything in particular though. It felt good to just take the time to be alone with his thoughts. 

It didn’t take them long to turn to Jared though. He really did miss him when he wasn’t around. His dimpled smile. His laugh. The way his lips felt against Jensen’s own. The weight of Jared on top of him, or beneath him, surrounding him. The heat that crackled along his skin and just beneath the surface wherever Jared’s hands roved. 

Jensen closed his eyes, fingers twitching on his belly, the urge to retrace the pathways strong and with the words Jared had left him with replaying in his head. Jensen was getting hard. Usually he would just take care of it in the shower. But this wasn’t the usual. And it had seemed really important to Jared that he do this.

He moved his hand lower and ran his fingers along the lip of the waistband of his sweatpants. He took a breath, tummy muscles tensing in anticipation before he slid his hand down under the soft cotton to take hold of himself. Up. Down. Up. And he stopped, making small circles across the tip with his thumb and without even really thinking about it he grabbed his phone with his other hand to call Jared.

“Jensen?” Jared sounded a little out of breath, but Jensen didn’t really think too much of it.

“Jared, I need you to come over. I can’t do this on my own.”

“You can’t…what?”

Jensen bit his lip, and was willing to bet that a flush crept over his skin, he was holding his cock while talking to his boyfriend on the phone, “I know you said I could, but I’d rather you were here.”

Jared let out a gasp, “Are you touching your dick right now?” 

Jensen quivered, Jared _knew_ , and he squeezed himself a little, his cock twitching from Jared’s words alone. 

“Yes,” Jensen admitted quietly, heart thundering beneath his chest.

Jared moaned and then his breath caught. Jared was doing what Jensen was trying to do. Jensen sucked in a breath. He needed to stay calm.

“Stroke it. Jensen. _Please_.”

And Jensen did, eliciting a moan from his own lips though it was more from the need in Jared’s voice.

“Fuck, Jen.”

Jensen listened as Jared came, and it gave him tingles, a spurt of pre-come pulsing out, “Jay–”

“Don’t move. I’ll be right there.”

And Jensen had really tried to stay put, but he got too anxious and had to get up. It wasn’t even like all that much time had passed, like maybe two seconds, their dorms were like five minutes away from each other and thankfully Jared made it in record time. He didn’t knock. Just walked in and closed the door firmly behind him. The two boys just staring at each other for a moment.

Jensen felt a little self-conscious, his boner very obviously tenting the front of his sweats. He’d never been _up_ with anyone before. Not like this. Jared had turned him on. But that was when they were in jeans. And there was no space between them for looking. Jared was looking. 

Perhaps sensing the tension Jared spoke first, “Where do you want me?” and even though Jensen didn’t actually say anything Jared came further into the room, closing the space between them.

“I don’t–,” Jensen shrugged a little and then shook his head, “Not like this. I can’t–,” not face-to-face. Not yet. But he didn’t know how to say that to Jared. He didn’t want to hurt his feelings again, like he was sure he had earlier. 

Not having the right words didn’t seem to be a problem for Jared though, he nodded his head with that easy Jared smile, “Okay,” and he gave Jensen a soft kiss before he moved in behind Jensen and pulled him in against his chest. He let his hands rest on Jensen’s shoulders as he kissed over that spot on his neck, bringing his hands down to Jensen’s, “Let me help,” he said gently.

Jensen closed his eyes for a moment as Jared brought his hands up around his middle, hugging him almost, it made Jensen feel better, more at ease; Jared’s touch. He nodded, “Okay.”

He could feel Jared smile as he directed Jensen’s hands to his hips to push his sweats down his thighs just enough to let Jensen’s cock spring free. Jared’s fingers slipped through Jensen’s just so, so that they were both gripping his cock, Jensen’s mouth fell open with a small breathy half-gasp as they started to jack his cock together. 

Jared controlled the speed, the rhythm, the pressure. He knew exactly when to ease off and slow down when he got too close, which was maybe a little more than Jensen would have liked. But it was new and Jensen had never tried denying himself before, prolonging the experience, but he knew that it was something he would have to build on with time, and with Jared.

Jared was hard again, his dick pressed to Jensen’s ass, rutting against him and Jensen’s hips rocked forward too in the chase and when they came it hit hard. Jared just held him for the moment afterwards as their breathing returned to normal. But Jensen couldn’t wait that long, he turned, staying in the circle of Jared’s arms so that he could kiss him.

Danneel sighed a happy sigh as she rested her head against her boyfriend’s –Misha’s– shoulder. Her friends had been right, she didn’t need to speak _computerese_ to speak Misha. She was sitting on his lap on Chris’s couch. This was the first night after getting back from the Christmas holidays that they’d all been able to hang out together. There had been talk of going out, but nobody quite had the energy or inclination for it and Chris and Jason had their guitars and there was beer. Chris had finally reached a place where he was happy enough with his new songs to put them to the test.

It was kind of hard to take your eyes off of Chris actually with the way he was staring at Genevieve –she’d bested him at darts and he’d been smitten ever since– he was playing for her. Just for her. Not seeing each other over the festive period? Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that.

And it certainly had done for Jensen and Jared too. Jared had almost been damn near insufferable the entire time they were home if he wasn’t texting or skyping or talking on the phone with Jensen. Which hadn’t been nearly as much as either boy would have liked, but there was family stuff and Jensen had had to be a little sneakier on his end. He hadn’t been ready to come out to his parents yet so he might have been able to maintain his composure a little better. But it was easy to see just how crazily he’d missed Jared too when you saw them together.

They were sitting on the floor. Jared had his arm slung round Jensen’s shoulder and pinned down across his collar bone, Jensen sat between his legs and sunk back into Jared, holding Jared’s hand on his chest. They kept kissing each other every so often and when they weren’t kissing Jared was nuzzling Jensen’s neck. It was entirely too cute and a quick glance round the room to their other friends confirmed that she wasn’t the only one who thought so.

Jensen humphed a little as he and Chad loaded the last of his drum kit into Jason’s van. “Man, you guys need to hurry up and get famous.”

“Oh yeah? And why’s that?” Chad quirked his brow.

“So you can pay someone to lug all your shit instead of entrapping your _so-called_ friends.”

“Hey. You offered.”

“And I’m still waiting for you to politely decline.”

Chad snorted, “Well ain’t you all kinds of precious.”

Jensen knocked his fist into Chad’s arm and he dropped the keys for the van and he bent to pick them up. He got that weird feeling, that wasn’t quite a chill but leering presence and he bit the corner of his lip before turning back to his friend, “Chad, not to be funny or nothing but why the hell do you keep looking at my ass?”

“Does it hurt?”

“Does what hurt?” Jensen’s brow drawn together in confusion.

“You know,” Chad shrugged.

“No, I don't know,” Jensen said slowly, “What are you talking about?”

Chad shrugged again, “You know. When Jared _gives_ it to you,” the second part delivered with a short thrust and fist pump combo.

“The fuck?”

And Chad, to his credit, did seem somewhat genuinely clueless when he said, “What?”

“Chad,” Jensen held up his hand, voice firm, “Too far.”

“Okay. Shit. Sorry...” and Jensen had been ready to accept said apology when the next words fell from Chad’s mouth, “but you do have a pretty sweet ass though.”

“Oh my god. Stop talking.”

Jensen didn't know what he found more disturbing, Chad thinking he had a _sweet ass_ or the fact that he assumed that Jensen was the one who bottomed. _Shit what if Jared assumes that too_. He had to talk to Jared.

Jared was spread out on top of Jensen’s bed with his laptop, with Jensen sitting at his desk. They were studying. Or well Jared was trying. He’d managed to whip out an introduction and he’d read half of a journal article. But really how was he supposed to concentrate on anything when his boyfriend had so many adorable little _OCD_ habits concerning his school work?

He was just about to suggest that they take a break when Jensen asked _that_ question.

“Jared, can we talk?”

A question that caused many a heart to sink, but which Jared had come to accept meant that Jensen just wanted to actually talk or have a proper discussion. He didn’t like to just leave things lying, left to bottle. A positive side-effect of finally coming out and accepting himself. And maybe Jensen took his time with the ruminating process but he liked to be on the same page. And that was one of the things that Jared loved about him, that he wasn’t afraid to ask questions or to voice any concerns or uncertainties. 

“Of course.”

Jensen took a breath before chewing on the corner of his lip and he paused for a moment. Jared watched as Jensen got up off his chair, and he shifted to give Jensen more space to sit next to him.

Jared knocked his knee into Jensen’s when he still hadn’t said anything more and Jensen looked at him, smile taking its place on his lips. Jared smiled back. Encouragement.

“If we…when you…with penetrative sex…you wouldn’t just expect me to bottom would you?”

Jared blinked.

And Jensen babbled, “I mean it’s not something I ever really even gave much thought to before. And I still don’t know that I’m ready to even go that far, but–”

“Jensen, hey,” he said gently, taking hold of Jensen’s hands in his own, “We never have to do anything you don’t want to or that you’re not ready for yet.”

“I know,” Jensen said quietly.

“What brought this on?”

And Jensen looked a little sheepish when their eyes met, “Well Chad–”

“Of course,” _Chad_ Jared shook his head, “Well I’m up for trying out whatever you want. _But_ I prefer to bottom,” Jared had been with enough guys to know, “Always think of you on top.”

“Jared.”

“Only when you’re ready,” and he kissed him, “I love everything we do together.”

“I do too. And I want to explore more with you, I just. I don’t want to rush things. I want to savour all the moments.”

“That’s what I want too.”

With finals just around the corner it was inevitable that they’d have a party to celebrate their last nights of freedom before they really needed to start revising for real. Not Jensen’s preferred setting, but all their friends were together and he was with Jared. Though he wasn’t physically with him right that second. Jared was over with Felicia, Adrianne, Aldis and Misha talking video games very _animatedly_. And Jensen had been discussing music, and journalism, and photography, and what he hoped to do with the paper the following year with Chris, Genevieve, Amy and Danneel. 

But his attention kept on wandering on back over to Jared. His boyfriend. And that was definitely something he liked the sound of. And he couldn’t help but wonder about other sounds he would like to hear. The places he’d like to touch. Explore. Jared. 

When the next song came on their friends paired up with their significant others and hit the make shift dance floor and Jensen seized his opportunity. He wrapped himself round Jared from behind letting his hands slip round and down into Jared’s pockets, “Leave with me,” he breathed hotly against Jared’s ear.

He felt Jared shiver, “Okay,” and he slowly removed his hands to let Jared turn around, “Where to?” Jared resting his own hands at Jensen’s hips.

“Mine,” Jensen said, his tongue flicking out over his lip as he looked up into Jared’s eyes.

“Do you have–”

“I bought stuff,” and then off of Jared’s pleasantly surprised look added, “I maybe might have had Danni with me,” not that he’d made her go up to the counter or anything. He’d bought the stuff himself, he’d just felt less self-conscious about it having her there. 

He would have gone with Jared, but he didn't want to take the spontaneity out of it with any kind of weird presence like a looming countdown clock. 

Jensen just wanted to be prepared for whenever they did take that next step. 

When the time was right. 

And it did feel right. He wanted this, “I want you,” he said, no hesitation, he was nothing less than sure. 

He kissed Jared, his hand cupping the back of Jared’s neck and somewhere between that kiss and the next dozen or so they ended up in Jensen’s room. The party hadn’t been too far from the dorm. It could have been on Mars for all he cared and they still would have got there. Didn’t matter how. His hands brushed up following Jared’s sides as he pulled his t-shirt off and he let Jared take off his in turn. Their lips reconnecting the second the material was out of the way. 

Jensen brought his hands back down to Jared’s shoulders and followed the muscles down in a gentle caress to the curve of his ass and he gave it a good squeeze with both hands, “Fuck Jensen,” Jared gasped, “Are you sure?” and Jensen couldn’t help but smile, Jared really was the best boyfriend he could have ever hoped for.

“I’m sure,” he said pushing his palm over the surface of Jared’s butt over his jeans, “Show me. I don’t,” he took a pause, needing to get himself back under control, this was completely new territory, well everything with Jared was, but, “I don’t want to hurt you. You have to let me see how you do it.”

“You wanna watch me finger myself?” Jared asked quietly, arching his back to push his ass further into Jensen’s hands, his own fingers dipped into the top of Jensen’s jeans, knuckles teasing the flesh beneath.

“Jared–”

“Okay. I can do that,” and he gave Jensen a quick kiss before he toed off his boots. Jensen did the same after grabbing the lube and a condom from the drawer and he set them down on the bedside table. 

Once they were both divested of the rest of their clothing Jared laid down on the bed with a nervous huff of a laugh which made Jensen smile knowing he wasn’t the only one. It was different when you interrupted the flow. Made it feel a little like a performance. Jensen wanted to quash any anxiety that Jared might have –that he was sure stemmed from himself, Jared was always putting Jensen’s feelings first– and give him the reassurance that he always so freely gave to Jensen. 

He planted his knees on the bed and leaned down to kiss Jared thoroughly, and parted with a whisper against Jared’s lips, “You look very incredibly sexy.”

Jensen took the little bottle of lube and pressed it into Jared’s palm, “Show me,” he said with more of a command in his voice this time, and he kept his eyes locked on Jared’s as he heard him pop the lid and then squirt some out onto his fingers. Jensen backed up enough to allow Jared the room to spread his legs as he lowered his hand and so that Jensen could get a better view. 

Jared let his fingers circle round his hole and he gasped. His fingers varied the pressure as he gave himself another couple of revolutions before he slipped a finger in. And Jensen shivered right along with Jared. He found himself overwhelmed with a desire to touch, to feel and not just from his own side of things. He maybe wouldn’t rule out getting to try it out himself –from the _bottom_ – the idea of Jared touching him like that _there_. Jared had said they could. But he was getting ahead of himself. 

His gaze drew up from Jared’s fingers to his balls and how they kind of twitched and jumped in response to Jared’s ministrations, and the way his dick would slap his belly on every other hitch. The thin thread of pre-come just begged to be licked and Jensen got up on his knees and then down on all fours, repositioning himself to get his mouth on Jared’s dick. Made Jared rasp out, “Fuck, Jen,” with a buck of his hips.

Jensen took in as much of Jared as he could with each bob of his head, teasing his thumb down Jared’s sac to join Jared’s fingers, only Jensen kept his at the rim, “Can I?” 

“Fuck yes,” Jared squeezed Jensen’s thigh and Jensen glanced back at him over his shoulder, “ _Please_.” 

Jensen turned back at that to properly face his boyfriend and Jared pushed himself up so that they could share another kiss, this one with a greater sense of urgency: a need to be one.

Jared had got himself lubed up pretty good but Jensen still stuck his fingers in his mouth to get them wet before he pushed them into Jared’s hole, it took a few adjustments to get to the speed, rhythm and pressure Jared had been using, but he definitely knew when he hit it, if the tremors that coursed through Jared in fits and starts were anything to go by “Yeah. Fuck. Yeah Jensen. There. _Right_ there.” 

Jensen smiled wide as he repeated the action again, and again until Jared grabbed his wrist, “I don’t wanna–. Together. We should–”

“Yeah,” Jensen said. He didn’t need to ask what Jared meant. This was it. The moment. And Jensen was glad that Jared was the one he was sharing it with, “Together.”

Epilogue

This was it. Summer was upon them. And Jensen found himself wondering why it was he needed to have so much stuff. He pulled another neat stack of shirts from his dresser to place straight into his case, with another glance at Jared on his bed, “Are you just going to sit there and watch me pack?”

“Hey it’s your stuff, man,” Jared lowered himself back down onto his elbows, “I’m just here for moral support.”

Jensen snorted. “You’re just here to ogle my ass.”

“Hmm,” Jared said as he did just that, with a quirk to his lips.

“What?” 

“Ogling?”

Jensen tilted his head in _consideration_ , perfectly aware of what his boyfriend was up to, “We could say leering.”

Jared didn’t disappoint. He pushed himself up a bit and reached out to get his fingers in under Jensen’s belt and tugged him in, “I always kind of preferred groping,” and he did.

“That’s why they call you _Trouble_ ,” Jensen said with a grin as he leaned in to give him a kiss. 

“Words hurt you know,” Jared teased. 

And Jensen knew that was how he meant it, but he couldn’t ignore the truth of it either. “Yeah they can,” he said with a small smile as Jared wrapped his arms around his waist. And thinking of words that could possibly hurt, “You’re still coming right?”

“Of course I am. With you all the way, baby,” Jared said before nuzzling into Jensen’s abs.

Jensen scrunched his nose as much from the tickling sensation as from the words that had fallen from Jared’s mouth and shoved Jared a little for the endearment.

“What? Like we can only be disgustingly smooshy when we’re having sex?”

Jensen nodded, “Yes. Exactly.”

Jared shook his head with a playful sigh, caressing Jensen’s back with his hands and bringing them back down to cup his ass, made Jensen gasp, and Jared put every ounce of affection into his words, “Butt munch.”

Punctuated with an extra squeeze that got both boys smirking.

Jensen needed a comeback, he just wasn’t so sure where to go with it, “Dick…swallower.”

Hysterics took them both down and Jensen had flopped down onto the bed next to Jared the two rolling into each other as the laughter swept through them. 

“Let’s promise to never say that kind of stuff in front of our parents,” Jensen grinned throwing his hand back into Jared’s chest.

“Agreed,” Jared said with a light jab of his elbow to Jensen’s side, and they lay side by side, without a word passing between them, for a moment. Jared played with Jensen’s hand, outlining his fingers with his own, drawing circles in his palm, and that kind of tickled to, but it was nice, just to be. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

Was he ready to tell his parents he was gay? To have them know? No take backs. “To have them not react the way I want them to?” he’d thought about it. Yeah. But…

“Well that too. But I kind of meant in general.”

There were still all the other factors to take into consideration, he just needed to keep reminding himself of them, “I’ve got you. And our friends. Chris. Danni. _Chad_.”

And Jared was good for that too, “We’ll back you all the way. And I’ll be wherever you need me to be,” Jared pulled Jensen’s hand up to his lips to kiss his knuckles. 

Jensen was still holding on to the belief that it wouldn’t get that far. Maybe he hadn’t ever had a _if one of us was gay what would you do?_ conversation with either of his parents, but they loved him. And they’d always supported him in every other area of his life.

Jensen squeezed Jared’s hand extra tight as he turned his head to look at him, “I want them to meet you. I _need_ them to meet you.”

Jared gave him a dimpled grin as he leaned in for a quick kiss, "Dude, I think my mom might actually burst if I don't take you home."

Jensen sat back up, unable to keep the smile from his face as Jared rubbed his lower back, and he slid his hand along Jared’s inner thigh to cup his knee, “Well I hope she’s not too disappointed.”

“Shut up,” Jared said, sitting back up too and he rested his chin on Jensen’s shoulder, “She’s gonna love you.”

“Despite the ridiculously high bar you’ve set?” Jensen arched his eyebrow.

Jared gave a one-shouldered shrug, “Hey, you set the standard, so really it’s your fault for being so awesome.”

“Hmm,” Jensen said, tapping his chin, “Note to self: reduce awesome-o-sity to Jared levels,” and he threw his head back with a laugh when Jared punched his arm, and Jensen got his hand on Jared’s face, pushing him away playfully in retaliation, “You know I’m kidding.” He let Jared snuggle back up to him to give him a softer, more lingering kiss, “You are definitely awesome of the full on variety.”

“I know. It’s just nice to hear every once in a while,” Jared smirked.

Jensen shook his head, “Dork.”

“Nerd.”

**The End.**


End file.
